can't you fake it
for just one more show?
despite all my rage
i am still just a rat in a cage

read tolkien's 'the hobbit' , goddamn it!

i feel like writing something a li'l unusual.

i saw the movie 'k-pax' a li'l bit back then and it kind of grabbed my attention,
especially when Prot a.k.a. kevin spacey mentioned that the theory of relativity
was misunderstood by us all.

when the quack said that according to Einstein's theory, no particle could
accelerate to the speed of light, otherwise its mass would become infinite.
prot then calmly explained that that theory only applies that travel below the
speed of light. it said nothing about particles already travelling at the speed of
light.

i'm no genius here, but i think that statement's got to be true somehow.
anybody care to give their two cents' worth of opinions?

meri krismas.

it's been a good sunday.
i tidied up my room.
it looked bigger.
i shaved.
looked tidier.
alor setar's a bandaraya now.
watch out, kl !
i do, however, feel a li'l bit light-headed
what's your diagnosis, doctor?

hang my head
drown my fear
till you all just disappear

black hole sun
won't you come
and wash away the rain

black hole sun
won't you come?
won't you come?

bout yesterday i saw two things (on tv, 'f course) that made me kinda think 'bout the
mess that i'm in.

the first was 'bout aging indonesians, and apparently they are desperate for jobs.
they're too old for construction work and other type of jobs. they'v no cash to
support the family.

that got me thinkin'.

the 2nd was a documentary on a univ undergrad (about 50, i think). he majored in
chemical engineering and he left.probably feeling disenchanted.he's playing guitars
in subway and other places.what struck me were his words. he said'

"it's okay if you didn't make it.it's okay to not finish your course.it's okay to not have
degree or any great stuff.you still have you"

that's pretty deep stuff.

na na na na na
ganu kite

since i've started listening to music, and i didn't realize when i started doing so, i've
always paid no attention to the so-called "music genres". it made no difference to me
whether i'm listening to a "post-grunge-hardcore-orchestra-monkey-ass-jazz" or
"druids-dangdut", or other shit, as long as i like it, that's what mattered.

or so i think.

you know in awards and stuff, where they lump together nu-metal bands and rock
bands in the "rock" category, and the stupid "short-hair-bangers" actually win?
well, that pisses me off all the time.ALL THE TIME!

not all these "linkin park clones" are bad (by the way, linkin park sucks). i heard a
single from static-x, i don't know what's the title, and it kinda reminded me of some
the early Megadeth"s stuff. it's THAT good.

if there's one thing i realized from all these "clASSifications", it's that rock is really
dead. a few hours ago, i listened to soundgarden's "best of" compilation, and it is
really good (notice the present tense used). then, i watched MTV and saw
audioslave. i have to say, on the record, that buying the knock-off audioslave CD,
was the most wasteful way to spend RM5. i also saw Zack De La Rocha on the
Latin Awards, and he's lost the braids.
he looked like he was on Survivor.

yup. rock is dead. grunge's not too bad, but i think they're dead too. as dead as the
heavy/speed/thrash metal scene. i'm planning to buy early Megadeth albums and,
you know, be a fan. i'd like to know whether James made the mistake when he
kicked Dave out. he'd already made "st. anger", so, what the hell.

i've been blabbering about these "genres", it'd be nice to listen outside the circle of
my preference. a few weeks ago, i listened to this all-female trio from Indonesia.
i'm sure you've heard of 'em. they're called 'molluccas'. they were GREAT, man!
in fact, they were so great, i initially assumed that they were French.it was after
my kid sister told me about them, i actually believed they came from there.

do you the origin of the name 'molluccas'? they derived it frome the 'Maluku'
archipelago. man, a great band with a great and profound name! i'm contemplating
buying their CD.

or i could get a ASDL modem and start downloading. hmm....

TO DO LIST

1. check out ASDL modem price
2. quit using quote unquote in blog postings.

nah adi ko amik alamat semua nih.salin jgn tak salin.

Manager – Human Resources
Supermix Concrete (M) Sdn Bhd
No. 2, Jalan Kilang, 46050 Petaling Jaya
Selangor Darul Ehsan.

The Administrator
142, Jalan Seang Tek
10400 Penang

Manager,
Conlay Construction Sdn Bhd
No. 22 (1st Floor), Jalan USJ 10/1.
47620 UEP Subang Jaya,
Selangor Darul Ehsan.

The General Manager,
Acad Systems Sdn. Bhd.,
Lot B3-1, Block B,
Dataran Palma (Palm Square),
Jalan Selaman 1, off Jalan Ampang,
68000 Ampang, Selangor DE.

Human Resources Department,
Sime Engineering Sdn. Bhd.,
2nd Floor, Kompleks Sime Darby,
Persiaran Kewajipan, USJ7,
47600 UEP Subang Jaya.

Human Resources Department,
PESBdotcom Sdn. Bhd.,
5th Floor Block E,
PEREMBA SQUARE, Seksyen U2,
40150 Shah Alam,
Selangor Darul Ehsan.

Adecco (www.adecco-asia.com/malaysia.htm)
12A-1, Jalan Tun Dr. Awang
(opposite BJ Complex, above 7 Eleven)
11900 Bayan Lepas, Penang

PROJECT DIRECTOR
DOWNER REI SDN. BHD.
3RD Floor, Rumah Rohas,
No. 61, Jalan Raja Abdullah,
Kampung Baru,
50300 Kuala Lumpur.

kalau dah dapat kje tu keje sungguh2.
har34x.

it is strange how technology has made us still connected to each other,
even though we're miles and miles apart.

gives me the chills.

this few weeks, i've been keeping my postings short and simple because my pc
broke down and i can't type anything except at the cafe.and it cost plenty to sit
for plenty hours.now, that i've got the machine back (or the machine got me), i'd
put things in typing.

this raya celebration was not merry for me.i'm sort of jaded. maybe it's because
during ramadan i did nothing.maybe it's the same as last year, except i was busy
working i didn't notice.maybe it's because my cat died.maybe baby.ha ha.

it's cool because raya is suppose to be a month, right? adat orang johor tu.sebulan
raya ha....i got three cards this year. a major improvement from last year. nothing
shocking.i'd say this raya was probably the most relaxed. as i am.

in fact, i was so busy relaxing, i almost missed people i knew whizzing past me.
one's taking up a quasi-teaching profession. another one's getting hitched
(engaged). another one's considering leaving a job at a consultancy to join direct
selling ( ! ).one took up a supposedly 'challenging' job in key ell after complaining
that the job in kedah's no fun, and after a few days, desperate to quit because
the new job's more disappointing than the old one.

he should've seen that one coming.

perhaps i'd better pick up my pace.

hang on tight

never take things for granted.
nothing.
ever.

the new pc's arrived!!!!!!!!!!

selamat hari raya kawan kawan.
minta maaf dari hujung rambut hingga ke hujung kaki.

i'm spent

this is truly a fucked-up morning.
this morning, my mother found our cat dead, apparently being run over by something.she was devastated.so am i.

the cat was our pride and joy.he was our most interesting sibling.

now he's gone.

i am heartbroken.
i am so heartbroken.

so heartbroken.

ingat results interview jpa dah keluar,tengok2 tak keluar...hangin aku

later this day, i checked again.the result:

"dukacita dimaklumkan anda tidak berjaya dalam urusan ini"

yeah,woteva.

to anybody reading ths post, and currently residing in kl.i need your help.
can you please get some quotation on pc parts and send it to my e-mail?
arigatou.

ah,....wasuruteta!

i saw a mitsubishi evolution 8 twice this week.
i wonder when i'm able to see its exterior.....on a daily basis.

this post is from a different cc.
the best thing happened to me a few days ago.my pc broke down and the astro connection was blocked.it was like i was freed from a prison.of course, i'd run out of things to do but, when i had those things, i felt obliged to utilize them.
the bad news is, i cannot quit cold turkey, man.that's why i'm here.i'm shivering as we speak.no, i'm kidding.
this cc's slightly better than the last.the connection 's a lil bit faster.rm3=ok a.

my pc's broken. i'm writing this post from a CC.

the mind is a wonderful thing, actually.
a person in a wheelchair can feel so complete, and so at peace.
a CEO can feel so whacked out and suicidal.
a cat sometimes feel agitated when it can't catch that damn frog.

i feel......:P

i've been addicted to friendster.

i don't know why, but i've been really calm lately.everything's calm except for the
surroundings.people asking when'll i work again, how long have i been loafing
around, dah pergi interview kebelum.

the day i start worrying again is the day i let all these questions mess with my head.

i've been running out of things to write lately, and i think it has something to do
with me cutting my hair very,very,very short. like less than half an inch long.


mcm keanu reeves dalam filem 'speed'

what the fk happened to my blog 'ere.

i feel like shit today.

selamat berpuasa, kawan kawan dan musuh musuh.

geli geli.

my new phrase.

geli geli.

geli geli.

hmm...how could i write something so personal and profound in a CC?
i don't care anyways.

so, to cut the long story to short, i went to see the director,she explained a lil bit bout the 'vacancy'.i asked for a day to think bout it.

and today i called her.

i said i didn't want to pursue the vacancy.

afterwards, i went to the cc to write this posting.

yup.

geli geli.

import tuner magazine, november 2003 just out.it's got a free calendar.

va va voom.

i've been updating my friendster profile and, you know, checking out my list of
testimonials when i noticed one thing.

different people have different views about me.

i have a mixed review.

is that a bad thing?

i've just experienced 'animal world' live in my living room last night.

i have a cat which just hit puberty, i think.so, he was kinda horny and always looking
for things to scratch and play. there's almost no lady cat around, so he was outta luck.
unfortunately for us, the dwellers of this residence, he began biting and scratching all
things in his sight.that includes the sofa, the carpet, the coffee table.the curtains,
newspapers,my legs,the prayer mats,my legs.

this cat's whack.

this house has another animal (and no, it's not me, although the girls do claim i am),
which is a frog, and it lives in the toilet. well, in the lavatory, to be precise. it's been
there for a long time, and quite frankly, i ignored it whenever i occupy the lot.every night,
this frog would come out from tho toilet and make the journey out of the house to do
some frog business (i've no idea what frog business means).

last night, as this frog was about to cross the living room, my cat noticed its presence.
the frog's been able to avoid being taken captive by the feline a couple of times, so i
figured it's just the usual encounter and it'd escape eventually.well, not this time.

within a few minutes i saw the frog being tossed into the air by the cat.he saw the frog
as a toy and i knew it's a matter of time before the grim reaper comes knocking on that
poor ugly frog's door.the friggin' frog received the usual combos from the cat (scratch,bite,
toss,kick,lick,bite,hit,pounce,bite again).

the natural response from the frog was to activate its defense mechanism, which is blowing
itself up to make it appear bigger and,well, fiercer. my cat didn't seem to mind the increment
in size.he kept on going.

this cat's whack.

to cut the story short, let me give give an example of what would happen if a blown-up
balloon is constantly prodded with a sharp object.

yeah.

i woke up this morning, only to find the carcass of the frog on the welcome mat.

poor piece of shit.

that's not all.just wait until you've heard the story of the cat with the back neighbour's
rabbit.it's hilarious.

this cat's whack.
i like him.

i propose a new idiom for bahasa melayu:

jinak jinak biskut

maksud: nampak seperti mudah di'approach' tetapi jika tersilap langkah,musnah
dan tiada 'second chance'.

contoh: aku berkata kepada pon, "pon,aku tak sure a sama ada aku nak ayat minah tu
sebab dia macam jinak jinak biskut aa."

i've heard recently that a person returned her long-time friends' good graces with
nothing but nasty words.it's very sad to see a person,especially a Malay,
behaving so un-Malay.

i believe the appropriate english equivalent would be 'diva'.

i woke up feeling fresh as a cucumber.now,where were we? ah, yes.

after i got to komtar,we stopped by Bukit Jambul for some vcds and dvds.the place has
really filled out,man.it's very meriah. got a belt for my sagging pants.

that night we all (me,md ashim,wan,mat kog,jibam soksek) went to pelita sungai dua for
some nasi kandar.first time tu i went to USM campus to fetch jibam.peh, lawa gila USM.
lawa gila.lepak kat pelita kira sedap jugak a.banyak student.teringat zaman undergrad
dulu.layan roti nan + tandoori.wan open.

you'v been pau'd!

that night i couldn't sleep thinkin bout the interview the next morning.tidur bergolek golek.
last last pukui 5.30am dah bangun dah.lepak lepak sat.semayang n mandi.jibam bagi
tips kalau nak sampai awal kena bertolak awal gila gila sebab traffic memang hancus.
by 6.30am dah ready.salam dengan wan (masih meruah lena) pastu gerak ngan mad
hashim.dia nak balik SP.

the vibe in the car was full of dynamics.got 'battery' playing in the speaker.jalan pun tak
jam.sampai di komtar 7.15am.cipet jibam,awal sangat a sampai! nak breakfast pun tak
lalu, layan teh tarik.nasib baik ada parking, tapi bayar agak mahal.takpa a,sekali sekala.

from this point it started getting better.

at the interview venue, i found a lot of UTM alumnis.kenal jugak la sikit sikit.there was
9 candidates and i was 7th.it was what you'd call an ordinary interview.

then i saw her.la, dia pun pi interview jugak ka.

i'm not gonna waste words describing her so i'm just gonna quote a line from my good
friend,pon.

'she has a face that launched a thousand flights'. <======= betui tak pon?

she and i was in the same faculty for 4 years, and yet we never talked.yeah, and she
had a boyfriend (speedbump) then.bila dah jumpa apa lagi, sembang maksimum.
memang lepas geram abih.she was 8th.i was kinda nervous to talk to her.she's still
got the right amount of everything.manis, bak kata orang tua tua.

towards the end of the session, she gave me her number and wished me luck and i
promised to call to let her know my results in a month.

it's just confusing,man.how can you tell the difference between a girl who really wants
to, you know, and another who's really friendly?

i don't know man.i did SMS her, though.

some of you might ask;

"wei mi hang dok cerita pasai pompuan saja, interview macamana?"

ok la jugak.bleh tahan a.

*grinnnn*

::here's a short recap of what'd happened in the past two days::


went to penang and stayed at Wan FR's house.he stays with mel plus one.dia kerja kilang
dekat ngan rumah dia.kerja shift tak menentu,sat siang sat malam.mel outstation pi jepun.
typical rumah bujang.banyak dvd sampai bersepah-sepah.oh ya mamat tu dah pakai satria
convert gti.banyak duit tu.he's about to be pau'd!

pi rumah mad hashim plak.dia satu rumah ngan khursani.nak tumpang pahala.rumah serupa
apartment, ada pool ngan astro.peh.pastu try tengok tempat interview di komtar.bleh tahan
jugak.



seriusli penat nak taip.bersambung esok.nak tengok italian job pas nih.

aku mesti patuh pada undang-undang
aku mesti jinak dan selamba
jangan merenung ke awan
aku mesti berada di tanah

seperti kelompok tikus-tikus
cinta kelihatan di matanya
bak bayi di tayangkan
bak malaikat di dalam sangkar

aku mesti suci dan hakiki
aku mesti tahan pendapatku

mesti ada sesuatu lagi
mesti ada sesuatu yang baik
nun jauh di sana



Bahasa Melayu can be fun campaign



the malay language is somewhat underrated,IMHO. people prefer to use English,for its
simplicity and,this is a rather important criterion to me, because English is always
evolving and growing.the dictionary's constantly updated, and you can see English
embracing whatever's happening, instead of being hostileand anti-everything.

Bahasa Melayu's main thing is its 'bunga', or as i call it, drag.it relies very much on the
undertone.but you can't use BM without adding the 'Melayu' flavour.Cakap
berkias/berlapik/whatever.this can be an advantage, or the exact opposite,
results may vary.one can sound sarcastic,ironic,arsenic.

well, maybe not arsenic.

i still have a hard time understanding songs written in English, especially ones that are full of
unrelated sentences.for example, i just found out that Hanson's 'Mmmbop',
which up until recently i thought was a happy song, was, in fact, a sad song.in short, it's a
happy sad song.take another example, Metallica's 'disposable heroes'.when i
bought the album back in ' 94, i have no idea what these lines meant:

you will do what i say when i say
back to the front
you will die when i say you must die
back to the front
you coward
you servant
you blindman

it recently dawned on me: it's a lieutenant barking orders, shouting abuse at the lower ranks.
the whole song is about war and the soldiers, and their doomed fate.

here's another example for the curious to find out.listen to the song 'pain killer'
by Turin Brakes.it's a beautiful song.now, figure out the lyrics.you'll understand what i mean.
the same goes for all janet jackson/shaggy songs. i wonder why her songs aren't banned
in Malaysia.

i've since begin appreciating the lyrics in songs.you can learn so much from songs,
consciously and subliminally.

yeah,wotever.

Wednesday, 08 October, 2003, 4:02:00 PM

seabiscuit = film
airbiscuit = kentut

i'm thinkin' of shaving my head bald.just feels like it.

::'mie'-usic:: - (bad pun intended)

several days ago, i went to a mall with my sister to buy some groceries.on the way
to the car,we passed the electrics section.by chance, i saw some cheap walkmans.
i never thought there'd be walkmans ever now.

it all brought back the memories of my encounters with music. i still remember my
first walkman.it was red, and it cost about RM30.it was probably in the late eighties.
RM30 was a lot of dough back then (i think it still is today).the player has no rewind
function,only fast forward (FF),so if you wanted to rewind the cassete, you'd have to
flip it.it was a great walkman.i think i still have it somewhere in the house.i listened
to a lot of music on that gadget.back then,rock music was at its mightiest, so
naturally i listened to that a lot.i also listened to Paula Abdul (would you believe it?),
Ekamatra,Vanilla Ice,MCHammer,Elvis Presley,Shima,Aishah (it keeps getting better,
innit?),and else.you can conclude that my taste was pretty eclectic. i also started
playing air guitar at that period. my late father had one of those record/LP player, and
it still exists today.even the records. i think it's broken, though. maybe i'd get it fixed
for old times' sake.just for giggles.

back in primary school,an original tape was about RM13.90, so saving up for music
wasn't so hard.piracy was still in infancy, and a pirated cassette was about RM5.my
collection was a balanced mix of both.back then, i WAS a malay-music fanatic.you
know,buying mags,watching juara lagu (muzik2).i don't know what happened since.
maybe it's Eddie Hamid's fault.maybe the cheap pirated cds did it for me.

secondary school - this was where the music scene exploded for me, IMHO.i began
discovering other people's influences,buying guitar magazines,started playing guitars
in Form 3,and else.i discovered hiphop,metallica,nirvana,guns 'n roses,iron maiden,
bla bla bla.that was a pretty exciting time for me.i also started jamming with a couple
of friends.we pretty much played only metal music (no prize for guessing which group),
and soon i discovered that i sucked at playing guitar.so i took up drums. i fared better.
i was also fascinated by the fact that some musicians resorted to taking drugs to
continue playing music. i don't see any correlation whatsoever, just a pathetic excuse.
their rock star life was cool,though.

my music taste in the next following years was stunted,mainly because there wasn't any
music worth listening, IMHO.i began listening to past catalogues of Jimi Hendrix,Led Zep.
that's about it.

music can be anything.researches have proved that a person can be miserable if he listens
repeatedly to Pearl Jam songs. i belt out songs on the ol' six-string when i'm depressed.
currently, i'm listening to System Of A Down's 2nd album.toxicity.all i can say is wow.
the vocal,the guitar parts,the drums,the bass,all solid.this one's a rare find.you've got songs
with abrupt tempo changes,excellent drumming,unique voice,impossible-to-decipher lyrics,
ultra-low-tuned guitars that doesn't sound muddy.i still think my descriptions doesn't do it
justice, so find out yourselves.reviews portray it as 'armenian rock'.

i'm out of juice to write any more, so if you'll excuse me, i'm heading out to buy SOAD's
latest album (the local version, of course).

give it up for the music.

layla
got me on my knees layla

seriously not wanting to fall into the same pattern of living each day, i actually
went jogging today.yup.it's been a while, but i still managed to complete three
rounds.my head felt like exploding,but other than that,everything else was fine
and dandy.
i've been wondering why i've lived like i lived the past couple of months.why my
plans didn't work out.why after i've done everything i could and still..zilch.

then i remember the concept of 'pasrah'.

down.down gila.

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08Sr;r77X777XX7:BM@: 2a2ZZ2S22SrirZ8ZZ8ZZZZZZaa2ZB02S2SS0@WZSMMMMM82;Z
08ZrrXXXSSSXXSS;;Ba;WMMMMMMMM08Z2222aZZZZZZZaaZBB8Za2S2SaBM:: ;XSWW,
88ZX7SS2SS2S2S2S7;Z0B@MMMMM@B00080808ZZZZa22Z0B08ZaS22aSa0M ;i.;aSMM,,
0BZSSS2222a2a2SXSX;XBWMWB0BWBB0B80ZZa2SS2aaZBBB08Za22S2SZW7 ii:22BM, 8
SZ8a2aaZaZaaaaaaa8BXXXZBW008aaaZa2SSXXSSSZW@W8Z2Zaaaaa2aZM.iri7aWM, S@
2MMB0088ZZaZaaZZ0Zi ra@WWWZaaSS2XSSSS2ZWMWZ8aaaZZZZZa2202.r;iS0Mr XMW
MMWB008ZZZZZaaZBa,X;i70MMM@00Z2a2aSX2ZWMW8ZZa2ZZZZZaa2aZ@ i;:70MS rWMa
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B8000B@B088888Z W0ZSS7;;SWMM@W@@:XMMM@B080BBBW@WWBBBB@aiXS20MZi70MW0X

book title :

FORENSIC CLUES TO MURDER ( forensic science in the art of crime investigation)

price :

RM 5.90



i'm a sucker for cheap literature.

i want to write something profound, but i have writers' block.

i blame the dead horse.

hujan.
basah.
cibai.

Hey you, see me
Pictures, crazy
All the world I've seen before me
Passing by
I've got nothing
To gain, to lose
All the world I've seen before me
Passing by
(Chorus)
You don't care 'bout how I feel
I don't feel it anymore
You don't care 'bout how I feel
I don't feel it anymore
You don't care 'bout how I feel
I don't feel it anymore
You don't care 'bout how I feel
I don't feel it anymore
(Verse 2)
Hey you, ugly
Not so pretty
All the world I've seen before me
Passing by
Silent, my voice
I've got no choice
All the world I've seen before me
Passing by
(Chorus)
You don't care 'bout how I feel
I don't feel it anymore
You don't care 'bout how I feel
I don't feel it anymore
You don't care 'bout how I feel
I don't feel it anymore
You don't care 'bout how I feel
I don't feel it anymore
(Bridge)
ANYMORE!
I don't see
ANYMORE!
I don't hear
ANYMORE!
I don't stink
ANYMORE!
I don't feel
(Solo)
(Verse 3)
Hey you, see me
Pictures, crazy
All the world I've seen before me
Passing by
I've got nothing
To gain, to lose
All the world I've seen before me
Passing by
(Chorus)
You don't care 'bout how I feel
I don't feel it anymore
You don't care 'bout how I feel
I don't feel it anymore
You don't care 'bout how I feel
I don't feel it anymore
You don't care 'bout how I feel
I don't feel it anymore
(Bridge/End)
ANYMORE!
I don't sleep
ANYMORE!
I don't eat
ANYMORE!
I don't live
ANYMORE!
I don't feel

bertukar ke perisian versi tujuh poin kosong.
melihat kehidupan dari celah tayar.
makan kuaci itu adalah suatu hobi.
bandarku yang beracun.

adakah kau memiliki dunia.
bagaimana kau mengawal kekacauan.
suatu tempat di antara kesepian dan keterlenaan.
kekacauan,kekacauan,kekacauan.



'Bahasa Melayu can be fun' campaign.

so pretty in white.
pretty when you're faithful.
so pretty in white.
pretty when you're faithful
you're faithful



- bush, inflatable

this is an ode to my friend.

he spices things up for us.he ruffles our feathers.he almost always had a thing to
say.he puts the 'fun' in AFUNDI. ha ha.

bon voyage, joe.

woke up early today.gave my mum a ride to work, and got back home to sleep.

woke up at noon.

i wonder if norton antivirus 2k4 is already out on the piracy market.time to get
me a new one.

it's kind of ironic when you don't know yourself.

this time last year, i was deep in work,supervising constructions and getting engrossed
in other matters as well.now, i'm kinda in a funk,waiting for something i'm not sure i'll
get.some say that when you work, and you put your mind into it, other things get pushed
aside and eventually become petty things.that's almost entirely true.i loaf now and i find
myself obsessing over small things. i recently realised that i had become..........

what's that word......

i'm gonna get up early tomorrow.


wish me luck.

it has been a very splendid weekend for me.spiffing. and i'm learning how to eat
cornflakes with milk.it's kinda weird on the ol' tongue, though.

why is it splendid,you must ask?well, for starters, it has been raining non-stop for
two days in ol' Qalha. the temperature's sorta like london, if you get what i mean.
perfect for hibernating, or other body-warming activities.i did nothing except for
eat, listen to music,play along with my guitar, watch tv/vcd,read the papers.

nothing much, except for yesterday.astro played back-to-back live performances
of my favourite bands.

metallica:they can still pull it off. in the future? i doubt it.
zwan:the album's great, but the live set was just noise,man.fell in love with Paz all
over again, though.
audioslave: me no watch.
QOTSA: rocks hard.

i don't know if today'd be better. i hope it will.

yesterday i went with ijol+pon+din to chot's wedding.his car broke down.thank God
din's father was there to help.the bill didn't induce much sweat,thank God.we ate,
chatted,took a few photographs and went our way to kepala batas.made a stop to
buy some vcds.'ali g, innit','ali g bling bling','barbershop'.arrived home safely.around
10 o clock, accidentally slept, only to wake up 'kena himpit'.seram sial.baca ayat kursi and apa yang patut.it took another two hours for me to go back to sleep. shizzle ma nizzle.

woke up this morning with a massive hangover.

i seriously have to end this vicious cycle of travelling to far places
and going back home only to wait feverishly for the next phone
call for interviews.it's addictive.this time around it's kind of a mixed
occasion.it's nice to see old friends you haven't heard from in a while.

yup.

got more interviews in kl next week.

penat sial.

psycho groupie cocaine crazy
psycho groupie cocaine crazy
psycho groupie cocaine crazy
psycho groupie cocaine crazy
makes you high makes you high makes you really wanna go...STOP!
psycho groupie cocaine crazy
psycho groupie cocaine crazy
psycho groupie cocaine crazy
psycho groupie cocaine crazy

i caught the moon today,pick it up and threw it away alright
i got the perfect steal,a cleaner love with a dirty feel alright
far out and take the bait,eat the fruit and kiss the snake goodnight

my new top ten best scene: laura prepon in school uniforms.



pehh.

i don't know if it's a coincidence or just just pure fate, but i just found out that i have
the exact same birthdate as famke janssen.

laura prepon.mila kunis.cool, fit clothes.

come back strong with fifty belly dancers!

hmm....it's funny how time flies when you're not even having fun.

scientists say that time only existed if there's any magnitude of distance.basically,
if nothing moved, time wouldn't exist.

first,please ignore the 'cranky' tone of this post.it's just me getting into character.

the backing track to this post is metallica's 'loverman'.

i've been gone for, well, ten days, and, a lot of things has has happened.it was quite
'adventurous'.the timing couldn't have been greater.
i arrived at pantai hillpark about a week ago, while UM was having its convocation.
the hillpark dwellers urged me to join them at the 'gerkon'.i was going 'what the hell
is gerkon?'....until later i realized that it stood for gerai konvo...oh...i forgot that UTM's
term was 'gerko'....oh well...potato,potatoe.

then came the actual graduation day.and it coincided with my interview dates.i
already missed one in the morning 'cuz i lost the address.moth**f**k. i figured
i'd see the afternoon session and congratulate joe.whew.the gazebo was packed
to the brim.same atmosphere as about a year ago in skudai.wonderful sense of joy
in the air. nevermind the hot weather.nevermind the packed walkways.nevermind
the overcrowded hall.

congratulations, joe+1.

that's when i realized i'm dead inside.after all these years.

saturday - joe's engagement ceremony.damn, that guy's moving fast!
again, congrats joe.you've got it made.

sunday - helped an with his moving to maybank training center,bangi.
that is a big step for that bloke.i hope he makes it in that great bank.
he bought pizzas for us in kajang.truly a one in a million possibility of
this shit happening.the girls there were sizzling,though.

monday - nothing much to do.decided to go to cc to update whatever's
updateable.i freaked out when there's an e-mail from petronas, stating
i'm due for an interview on tuesday,8am! at the same moment,
my interview results from last thursday came out.i got the job in langkawi.
oh shit.what to do?memang gamble gila nak gi interview.last2 ajak sarul
ushar lif kat tower 1. mana nak naik,mana nak amik pas and all that.beli
white shirt la,pinjam tie ngan black shoes la.memang terhegeh-hegeh.
apa nak buat.

i couldn't sleep that night.

tuesday - sarul telah membuat lawak antarabangsa.dia set alarm pukul
5 pagi.tak bangun lak tu.only got about 2 hours' worth of lying on my back
this morning.gelabah.got out of the apartmentat about 7am with an's
cup-chai.lrt was ok,and i got there early.let's make things short,shall we?

i totally fumbled in that interview.i couldn't even remember what i said or
what i did.it was more like a 'mind probe',actually.met with two of my
x-varsity mates who got the same interview.like me,they too,thought they
did rather disastrously a while ago.apa nak buat.last2 meet up dengan one
of our friends in petronas. he took us to the skybridge via the employee's
route.all i can say is WOW.yup.WOW.or WHOA. <-------ada feel gayat sket.

chuak gila.took a few pictures there.nice.got home and ate something,
after 7 hours of no food and no drinks.kedek nak mampus siul petronas.
after that nothing much.sleep,woke up,repair pc,baca paper and repeat.
sesi soal jawab antara gua ngan orang2 lain bermula.lapan kali jawab pasai
interview lagi terer.ha ha ha ha ha.

wednedsay - the most time i spent sleeping is on this day.one of the things
i noticed is that my wallet is lighter.hmm....

thursday - pulang ke kampung.found out we got a new cat.meow.

i'm baaaaack!....and tired.and seriously missing some quality time with my guitar.
i'll give the story later.

you to back it throw gonna they that day the be gonna is today
do gotta you what realized somehow should've you now by
now you about do i way the feels anybody in believe don't i

hahaha.

mary star of the sea

right now i am hopelessly hooked by SOAD's toxicity.
it's been a long time since i banged my head.

father!
father!
father!
father!

recently, i've been hit with several heavy doses of boredom. found out i've got nothing
left to do in my 'spare' time.so, i decided to go mental, and reinvent a couple of things.
(poyo)

i got myself a decent wireless mouse from a4tech.it was going for cheap,anyway.
about rm48.all included.batteries,extension usb cable,batteries,rf receiver, converter.
i figured, what the heck right?the installation was pretty effortless.and you apparently
don't need to install anything if you're using windows xp.that's good.everything was a-ok
until it came to using the mouse itself. i found no problem with the connection whatsoever,
but i was bugged by how uncomfortable it was using any mouse other than logitech's.so,
out went the new mouse, in with the old.then,i surfed to logitech's website and updated
my driver.and it was the best thing to do.(at least, it was better than buying a new mouse)

while i was on the 'net, i tried to find some audio-ripping programs, cuz my cd was getting
many (malas nak construct ayat betul) and i figured i'd better fill up those spaces in the
hard disk.everyone was rambling about how good audiograbber is, but i beg to differ.it
was shit.after a brief visit to downloads.com, i found this neat program,"Easy CD-DA
extractor".i greatly recommend this program to all of you out there.it's easy and it's
definitely gonna rip EVERY cd that you want to rip.i even managed to rip tracks off
'st anger'.as of now, i am listening to about 10 cd's worth of music.i'm pretty sure i'll
hurl anytime now.

what else?oh yeah, i tidied up my room.took some pictures using a webcam.i finally
listened to 'elephant'.good.could be better.

chow.

i must obey the rules
i must be tame and cool
no staring at the clouds
i must stay on the ground
like clusters of despise
smoke is in your eyes
like babies on display
like angels in a cage
i must be pure and true
i must contain my view
there must be something else
there must be something good
far away
far away from here

a strange thing happened today.serious shit.
i found some old stuff, and wow,i thought i'd never see them again.
i was opening some old programs just to see if i could delete some stuff, to make some room
for performance. i opened this e-mail management program,MICROSOFT OUTLOOK.
ya see, back in 1998, hotmail had bigger allocations for their subscribers, maybe 10MB of
storage for each head.so, you could save literally hundreds of e-mails,including spams,without
caring which to keep and which to delete.at that time (98/99/00) i was heavily into computers
(read:perak) and i found out that you could retrieve e-mails much,much easier by using
MICROSOFT OUTLOOK.so,i used them for quite a long time.basically,without knowing it,i was
storing e-mails in my own computer.
come the new millennium, hotmail was cutting corners,and also storage.each holders are entitled
only 2MB of storage until now.i was in a period of 'inactivity' at that time (read:computer rosak),
and the hotmail staff deleted all my e-mails.or so they thought..........*grin*.
fast forward to 2003.
i clicked on the 'hotmail inbox' of the outlook and voila! there you go! archived e-mails at your
fingertips.banyak jugak la e-mail.junk, mostly, and some are worth reminiscing about.....haha.
the moral here is: always check your e-mail, or those staffs will check them for you.

reminds me of the line

"senorita, i feel for you..."

hi.
i have a new story lined up for you out there.
guess who's back in town?
pi.
pi ra cy.
today i went with jibam to sentosa, because he wanted to get some installer for his better
half.we passed by some vcd shops and they appear quite strange because so many people
were in them.being the curious dudes we are,we checked them out and yay,the vcds/dvds/cds
and whatnots are back in town.glory glory.i was kinda happy and pissed off at the same time.

happy?yes,cheap entertainment's back.

angry?you bet i am,after finding out there was a pirated version of 'st anger' for only rm6 there!
i bought the original for rm40,man! *sheesh* the price you pay for being loyal to those old tarts....

great titles are in store this particular day.i bought 'the hot chick','bruce almighty','2fast2furious',
and '54'.yup.we're about to kick some serious vcd's asses.......doesn't have the same vibe, does
it?

'hotchick' and 'bruce' was THE shit. if there was an earthquake,these films'd be the epicentres.
i was laughing continuously for two hours and as a result, i've sustained injuries to the lower stomach,
throat, bladder,and a blinding headache to boot.

the other two i haven't seen yet.

esok a.

i have nothing to discuss here,so i'm gonna announce the birth of another community
not unlike the now defunct community zero.it's called circle99.i know it's a pretty old
website, but the smssmj community 92-97 has just been created by pon,(who else?)
the original founder of czero.as of yesterday/very early today, the community has about
5 members - pon,mie,najib,din,nina.i'm here to promote the group to all the other alumnis
out there, spread the word so the group will receive more members and hopefully more
support and love.

the layout of the page is pretty much like the old czero.you have photo sharing,file sharing,
vote,discussion,what's new,and else.the only thing that is missing is the bulletin board,
but i'v yet to finish exploring the page.maybe it's customizable,maybe not.

so,if you're still not a member,please mail me at fahmi@hotmail.com.once i receive your
e-mail,i will invite you into the group (it's a closed circle) and register.it's going to be fun,
let's all chip in to make it the centre hub of communication for us alumnis.

at least while it's free.

spread the word.

apparently, MAS has brought ticket prices down on international flights.that's certainly
good news for people who want to travel overseas (myself included) on a considerable
budget.for approximately rm2k, you can travel to about anywhere in the world.

milan,munich,moscow,london,manchester,banyak nak mampos.still,the tour package to
japan is the most expensive.fukk it.jeddah's nowhere to be seen (i wonder why) nor
mecca.egypt's missing too.it'd be cool to walk around the Valley of the Kings.

MAS' Super Low Air Fare.sometimes i wonder why they've cut prices.maybe it had to do
with all those steward/stewardesses acting in the 'drama' recently.MAS got no profits,
that's for sure.still,if they'd sell copies of those in thier flight,maybe profits'd be up.
ha ha ha.

i'm only joking.feds, please don't arrest me.

this happens everytime,man.i'd stop blogging for a while, then stuff'd start accumulating
in my head,stuff i wanted to put into blogs and shit, and now i've ran out of juice.damm.
dat shit's whack.

i've been handing out resumes and cvs and stuff to companies, and i hope i'd land myself
a decent job anytime soon......well,not too soon.

wish me luck.

a few of my friends quit blogging recently.something about failing to find a concrete
point of blogging.i didn't pay enough attention anyways.

in a way,they were quite right.i didn't find anything that mattered.

maybe you have to be a person with a shitload of baggage to blog,man.maybe that's it.

i'm gonna be spending a hell lot of time at home these couple of weeks, so my best
friend will be the one and only,PC.here's looking at you,bud.i've got metallica's
'garage, inc' in the cd drive and the volume's cranked up.right now the track is 'die,
die,die my darling'.it's not a good title for a song, i know, but the song will rock your
socks off,dude.it's that good.
i just got back from the book store.not much books to buy,really.it's kinda strange.
when i was in kl,i frequented MPH almost daily, and i couldn't find any books
interesting enough to buy.here i am in alor star,with the shittiest selection of books
ever.i managed to buy a couple of books, though.'the worlds most fantastic freaks'
and 'the worlds greatest unsolved crimes'.not what you call mind-challenging books.
the problem is,i don't have the patience to go thru books with only a single storyline.
give me a harry potter book and i'll give you a menacing,what-the-fuck-were-you-thinking
look.yup.that's me.don't even get me started on the 'lord of the rings' trilogy.
i'm not saying that no book is good enough.it's just that how long do they keep the
readers engrossed,that's it.
shitty and all, i found some good books, and some books i used to read as a child.
i found 'who moved my cheese?', which,by far, is the most overrated metaphor book.
a close friend of mine actually read it (i won't tell who) and he said it was actually a
good book.basically it was about a group of mouse which had a piece of cheese,and
somehow,sometime later,somebody (or mouse) moved their cheese.i didn't remember
all other details.to me,any story about mouses or any rodents shouldn't be read by anyone
older than 10.the book's price was rm30.ha ha ha ha.should anybody bought or knew
someone who did bought the book,allow me to congratulate.did you know who moved
your cheese?you must be ranked lower than a rat.ha ha ha.no offense.
there was also a book titled 'i moved your cheese'.basically, it stood against the original
book.it was also priced at rm30.it's a funny bookstore, i tell ya.
basically, i just read what i find interesting.import cars,music,guitars,rock history,technology,
civilisations,trivial facts.i find magazine most suitable as it retains your attention, not too
long or short.in no way am i slacking all those people out there who paid good money
for,ya know,hardcover editions of great books or the latest paperback edition by stephen king,
jk rowling or shahnon ahmad.they write great lines,they really do.but i'm not interested.
i'm too choosy.i judge a book by its cover.speaking of books, one of my friends,HAZWAN is
currently an employee at MPH midvalley megamall.so if you're in the mood to buy a book,
please get in contact with him.he can get you 20 percent discount on all books.nice,huh?
i am now listening to cd 2 of 'garage inc'.good music,creative metal.hard to find nowadays.
in the august edition of guitarworld 2003, there is an article on the history of thrash metal.
it described the beginning of thrash in the early eighties and how now-famous bands came
about.slayer,metallica,megadeth,anthrax,testament,exodus, and many more.
that is good reading.i wish history in middle school was more like this.
then i could enjoy it.yup. i am now running out of ideas so i'll just give shout-outs:


to denise keller - stop calling me.

due to overwhelming response (two requests,actually), i have decided to update my
blog.i'v put blogging on hold because i'v been away for a couple of weeks.jalan jalan
and waste a couple weeks of my life.and also figure out what to do next (or what not
to do next).basically, just vegging.also, update the latest news (!) on my friends.
my varsity friends are quite busy, who can blame them. i WAS busy too.on the other
hand, my high school friends are still busy, but with their theses/thesises(hantam sajalah).
actually'after the BJM handing over ceremony, i went to kl, and i expected to stay there for
quite a long time.long, my ass.
me mum started calling everyday, asking when i am coming home, what did i have for breakfast,
and all the other shits.
now, after 4 days, i'm back in (bandaraya) kedah.senang cita.

i'v come full circle.went to KL and got back because BJM called and requested my assistance
for the handing over last saturday.at least that's what they called it.

guess what.

the handing over was aborted.

it wasn't a big surprise, though.i'v had a few false alarms during my time there.i'v gotten
used to it.but not when you have to travel 400kms to the north to attend it.

ya know what?they'v rescheduled the ceremony to 21st july instead.and they expected me
to attend.

hmm.....still, i'v got nuthin' to do.the job offer's nowhere to be seen.the master plan kinda
failed, but in a good way.got to relax while watching my friends went on with their lives.

enough about me.what about all of you, mi amigos?

what did all of you do today?.......pray, do tell.

tadaima......

this would probably be my last post.there'll be no more (free) internet after this.
thank you to those who've read my postings, thank you. should any of my posts
made you think for a while and reconsider your directions, bear in mind that none
of these posts are real.they are written while i am under the influence of heavy
medication.

yup.they're all just fragments of my imagination.including the last three sentences.

*grin*.

aaahhh.........the sweet stench of unemployment.....it makes you cringe in delight.

frantic-tic-tic-tic-tic-tic-tock
frantic-tic-tic-tic-tic-tic-tock
frantic-tic-tic-tic-tic-tic-tock
frantic-tic-tic-tic-tic-tic-tock - frantic, St. Anger

a joyous occasin for my friend last wednesday.happy birthday,reenee.

tomorrow'd be my last day in the company.so i'll be changing contact phone numbers
(for the umpteenth time).no more bills, it's back to ol' faithful prepaid.

i think it's zero one two five three six double zero three four.i haven't activated it yet.

yup.another number to ignore.

ha ha ha.

l need some spiritual enlightenment.

domo.

it's been a while,and now i feel like writing.so this one's gonna be fucking long.get
your ganj out.he he he......

in about a week or so,i'm gonna be out of a job.a dud.some friends who knew about
this were surprised when they found out i haven't secured a new job yet.apparently,
their idea of quitting a job is to get a better (paying) job.right,fellas.i'm not quite happy
with my current post right now,whereas my decisions as an engineer are not respected
enough.i know i'm a rookie and all,but you have to learn to make count of what you
learned in your respective varsities.i decided to bail out.that's not the main reason,
though.actually,my job's not that mind-blowing.if you take a look at me at work,you'd
think i was the site supervisor.yup.all those years at Skudai,and here i am,running
here and there,ordering stuff,coordinating shit.believe me you,any dude can do this,
it's just that they need someone with a degree.
sure,the job pays well,i'm living with the family and all that "save" factors thrown in,
but is that it?is that all there is?i decided i'd take a break for a while.you know?chill.
travel a little bit,go stir a few things up (he he he),blow mad cash,...well,not exactly
mad cash.more like mad shillings (nanti kena pau mampus aku siol).

the job's not all bad,though.there's the money.not exactly "weighing down your wallet"
but i'm not a heavy spender either.i could buy stuff i only dreamed of when i was younger,
even when i was in Skudai.got me a cool pair of headphones,cable TV,DVD player (which
i later sold because my TV's technology was too obsolete),upgraded my PC,got a pretty
nifty camera (non-digital),and a few things else.yup.you can buy anything when you got
the dosh.what got me pissed,though,was that i could afford to buy car magazines,but
not a car.ha ha ha.very cruel.seriously.

a word of caution,though: money can't buy you happiness.this is serious shit,man.
you'd feel empty inside,and no amount of money could fill that void....................well,
except any amount more than a million euros.

i hadn't exactly plan what i'd do next.maybe i'd find another job elsewhere.i'm kinda
contemplating furthering my studies,for a while.it's just that i feel lost.where's the map?
ha ha.

i also found out two of my high school friends are about to go overseas.yup.go for it,
dude+dudette.i know i would.jangan masuk the sun mukasurat tiga,udah.....

what really matters is you should be doing something that makes you really,really,really
happy.notice that i used 'really' three times.it's not typo,man.this is important shit and on
a lot of occasions,i tend to forget this one crucial thing.

happiness is what really matters.

tick
tock
tick
tock
tick
tock

funny-hee.....

you are twenty-three, moving on twenty-four.......

happy birthday, rock.

when we met light was shed thoughts free flowed
you said you've got something deep inside of you
a wind chime voice sounds sway your hips round rings true
it echoes deep inside you
secret garden beams, changed my life so it seems
fall breeze blows outside i don't break stride thoughts are warm
they go deep inside of you
and i never felt alone till i met you
i'm allright on my own till i met you
friends say i changed i don't listen cuz i live to be
deep inside of you
slide off her dress shouts in darkness
i'm so alive
it's deep inside of you
you say boy make girl feel good
but still, STILL!
I would change myself if i could
i would walk with my own people if i could find them and i would say
i'm sorry to you, i'm sorry to you, but i don't want to
call you and then i want to call you and i don't want to
crush you but i feel like crushin you and it's
true i took for granted you were with me,
i breathe by your looks and
we were broke and didn't know and
we were broke and didn't know and
we were broke and didn't know and
we were broke and didn't know, I, oh I, oh I . . .
Something's gone you withdraw I'm not strong like before
I was Deep inside of you
I can go nowhere i burn candles and stare
at a ghost
deep inside of you
and some great need in me starts to bleed
i've lost myself there's nothing left
it's all gone
deep inside of you

.....................feeling tak hingat.......he he he....

i want a girl with a short skirt and a long.............

jacket.

na na na na na na
na na na na na na
na na na na na na
na na na na na na

hey hey now?
can you fake it?
can you make it to look like we've won? -------------stacked actors,foo fighters

a piece of advice:

if you really want to buy a good rock album, please consider the foo fighters' 2nd album,
'the color and the shape'.

i went through some users' testimonials in friendster.com, and one particular
testimonial stood out. it read:

"looks can be deceiving".

that is so true.

i expected a crappy weekend, and as usual, it was shitty.so i am happy.

excuse the irony.

there was a special on christina aguilera on MTV at about 9pm.i was a
fan (i'm unsure if i still am) back in the varsity days in UTM, where you
watched, well pretty much, singaporean tv, and they rocked hard, man!
if any of you have the chance, check out TCS5 whenever you're in JB or
anywhere close to singapore.this channel rocks more than any of those
ASTRO channels.then again,maybe i'm saying this out of boredom.
but that's not the point.let's get back to this chick, shall we?

(back then) i admired her because she could sing, and she had a nice
image....as i said, back then.well, people change.

while in second year (in UTM) i had this paper, FLUID MECHANICS, which
was kinda tough, and the only way to score was to ace those tests,which,
was pretty peanuts, provided you look back on the previous examples given
during lessons.i was having a hard time understanding these concepts about
hydraulics energy lines and shit.i decided to watch some tv instead that night.
and the test was less than 8 hours away.

i slept in front of the telly.

(four hours later, close to 4am - 3.55am, actually)

i woke up, groggy and all.decided to check what was on tv.
lo and behold, it was miss christina in 'what a girl wants'!!!mind you, she was
hot that time around, and this video was, like,THE SHIT.

after the clip was over, i felt rejuvenated (don't we all?).i washed my face, and started
hitting them books.i was full of 'semangat', and to my surprise, those darn examples
were kinda easy (lesson learned)......there you go.

i laughed arrogantly.....<-------------no, that didn't happen.

i answered the test confidently that morning, and guess what?i aced it.full marks.yay.

christina aguilera, if you ever read this blog, i just want you to know you were an integral
part of my struggle to get my degree.bar none.

that was, until those japanese actresses came along.

i'm feeling kinda fucked up right now.at this very moment.on the dot.

ya see,i'm gonna be unemployed in,like two weeks' time.yup.i was
supposed to check out this new job in some department in petronas,
which requires me to go to kl and sort that shit out.i'm supposed to
go tonight.

but here i am, in kedah.sitting in my room a.k.a cell.

and i'm not even worried.

dammit.

death chokes you up sometimes.

my mom's unc passed away last night, and this morning we paid a visit
before the final burial.all of my mom's cousins were there.when we arrived,
the body was ready to be put in a shroud.i was kind of calm back then.

then, came the final goodbye.

before the face was covered,all the closest relatives kissed the body (on
the forehead).all the cousins' eyes welled up (mine included) and some
couldn't hold back their tears.

i got out of the room and stood somewhere else.i'd probably cry if i stayed
a little longer.

take me and dry the rain take me and dry the rain take me and dry the rain
take me and dry the rain take me and dry the rain take me and dry the rain
take me and dry the rain take me and dry the rain take me and dry the rain
take me and dry the rain take me and dry the rain take me and dry the rain
take me and dry the rain take me and dry the rain take me and dry the rain

if you think about the advertisement in ntv7 on how to tune to ntv7, don't you
think it defeats the purpose?

sometimes astro sucks.
sometimes astro blows.
today astro rocked big time.got mtv icon:metallica at 5pm, followed by....are u ready?
tribute to ramones at 10pm.....balik modal.

www.friendster.com <-------------check this shit out.

nothing interesting happening right now.
no new bands to listen to.
if there were any, i won't be able to buy their cd's anyway, what with
all the rush here and there.
movies?heh,.......i'll see what i can whip up.'sex and the city''s better anyway.

ok, time to log off.

enjoy your holidays.

i know i won't.

today we celebrate THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON in our life, mine included.

mum, happy mothers' day.

i have nothing important to announce, so i'll just announce the name of my new friend.

she goes by the name 'as'.

we've been spending some quality time together, and she's quite entertaining.she's
pleasant to be around with.

her last name is 'tro'.

bosan...

an opinion is like an appendix.

everybody has one.

and it's useless.

i went to one of the less-visited shopping complexes today, the Sentosa Mall.just out of pure
demented boreness.it turns out that maxis is having a one-day promotion for its 64k card,
where you can sign up for just rm50 and you can choose your own number.

so.

my new number is 0124306916.

the old #'s still active though.

by the way, selamat menyambut hari pekerja.

this post is to advertise one of my best friends' achievement in doing what he loves most,
which is drawing.

mohd ikhsan sazeli is now seriously involved in producing artwork for a magazine called 'ERA'.
the first issue will be out in 15th may, although it will be dated june.

show your support and get yourselves an issue each.

:: for sale ::

swatch timepiece
leather straps
colour : brown + black
price : rm150 ono

dvd player (samsung)
only used twice...it turned out that my tv has no ntsc system
going for rm400 ono

yamaha accoustic guitar
4 months old..mint condition
going for rm250 ono

scanner.....5 months..sparsely used
rm120

anyone interested pls contact me at my mail ------oldwallet@hotmail.com

what lasts about 4 to 5 minutes,and if it is good,it'll leave you wanting more?
clue: it's not sex.

answer: video clip

yep. i now, understand the power of video clips.in the past,i've always regarded them as a
pathetic way of listening (and watching) to music.it also didn't help that most of the clips i've
seen are boring,dull (read:lack sexy women) but until recently, i've always thought that it was
only the music that mattered.

i was wrong, and boy, am i glad i was.

for example,take the funk/rock band, RHCP.their latest album was great, but i disagreed.i think
it's quite mellow, especially after what they displayed in 'californication'. when the first single
came out ('by the way'),i didn't listen to it often 'cuz it was kinda 'flat'.that was before i saw the
video clip.by the time i saw it the first time, i was hooked.when 'can't stop' came out, i knew
there must be an exciting clip somewhere.yup.

the clip was, and still is awesome.or should i say... 'shock-and-awe'-some.ha ha.

same thing can be said about this particular supergroup. nope,i'm not talking about audioslave,
although i hope that they could come out with a better second album, if they last long enough,
that is.

can you guess? well, here's the lyris to their latest song

"Honestly"

I believe
I believe
I believe
I believe the love you talk about with me
is it true, do I care
honestly, you can try to wipe the memories aside
but it's you that you erase

'cause there's no place that I could be without you
it's too far to discard the life I once knew
honestly, all the weather storms are bringing
are just a picture of my dreams
'cause when I think of you as mine
and allow myself with time
to lead into the life we want
I feel loved, honestly
I feel loved, this honestly

I believe you mean the best that life can bring
I believe in it all
honestly, you can try
your heart is just as long as mine
is it ours to let go

'cause there's not place that I could be without you
it's too dark to discard the life I once knew
honestly, a single wrong is not enough
to cover up the pain in us
'cause when I think of you as mine
and allow myself with time
to lead into the life we want
I feel loved, honestly
I'll make a joke so you must laugh
I'll break your heart so you must ask
is this the way to get us back
I don't know, honestly
I don't know, this honestly

there's no place that I could be without you
honestly

there's no place that I could be without you
there's no place that I could gleam without you
there's no place that I could dream without you
there's no place that I could be without you
honestly



brilliant,brilliant song.

there's a handing-over ceremony, so i have to work today.shit.still a lot to finish but the boss
still insisted to go on with the ceremony. all the officials came and commented on their parts.
this not finished lah,that thing have to do again lah.in the end,guess who got grilled?

p*****k.

last night was particularly boring.wednesday night, whaddaya expect?i got bored,and in the
middle of finding some old stuff,i searched through an old drawer,which haven't been opened
in,well,quite a few years.there was a lot of trash (all drawers have trash),bills,envelopes,
greeting cards and all things you could fit into a drawer.i also found some stuff i thought i'd
lost for so many years,i thought i'd never see them again.

an A4-sized letterhead bearing dad's name and designation, and a few short forms that followed
after.a notebook with a few scribblings,probably some of his calculations on mineral properties.
his writing was terrible,but i managed to read it.actually,it was kind of weird looking at all these
stuff because i could understand what he was writing,yet i wouldn't be able to understand him.
it's like what they say,right?you can't have your cake and eat it too.yeah,well..........

another finding that took me by surprise was two letters from my (half) brother to my dad.it was
dated back in 1987.my bro was 12 or 13 then.he had been writing,telling my dad he'd taken one
of those MRSM intake tests and he hoped that he'd be admitted.he also said that he was
terrible in maths and he expressed his gratitude for the cheques that my dad kept sending him.
i know there must be more than two letters for my dad,but i think it's lost somewhere.
i know my dad loved my bro.i don't know for real if the feeling is mutual.
maybe i'll ask him one day.

there was also stuff from my teenage years (bunyi macam dah tua ja).letters,cards,photos,
giftwrappers,mainly from the opposite sex.what a discovery,man! i mean,gila jiwang time tuh!
i gagged a few times (who wouldn't?),but most of the time, i had to stop myself from laughing
like a madman.those stuff brought back some sweet/forgettable/painful/haunting memories.

there were these letters from a girl (i'm not going to waste my time typing 'a person') from a
neighbouring boarding school.we were,like,pen pals (not the right term,yes?)and constantly
corresponding throughout 1995-98.we were quite civil, with phrases like "hope you're doing
well","jgn nakal nakal",and other shit often appeared in the letters.we've lost contact since varsity.

i remembered a period when i was getting all arty and stuff, and i started sketching and writing
offensive stuff (discreetly,of course) in a little notepad, but i never showed any of that shit to
anybody.then,after a few days,when i had the urge to draw again,and reached for the pad,i
found some writings in pencil, commenting on my artwork.my very own critic! i never knew who
she was (or do i? he he), but i guess she could sense a troubled mind from miles away,
let alone just a few metres. to mystery-critic, i stillam a troubled person,and i don't think
i'd be free from them.to be honest,i found your handwriting's awfully similiar to a friend of mine.
hmm.....

another set of letters from....hmmm...yep,uh-huh.....i'd like to call it a "failed attempt".
that's too much information.moving on........

i was glad i found these writings, it's been a while since i'd reminisce about the past.
the present's not too colourful,though.it's what they call "adult life".

ha ha ha.

watched 'the pianist'.

almost cried.

sunday.lovely day.

SARS freaks me out, man......i'm having headaches.

today has to be the shittiest day by so far.
got up early and ready for work, only to discover my RG had a flat tyre.
arrived late for work in my mom's car
work piled up until 3pm and when it's time to go to lunch, guess what?
i lost my keys to the car.had to go back home to fetch spare keys.
it was a 20km journey.

well, it's not all bad.skipped work early to scout for sunglasses,olympus
cameras.found some good deals.
the local store also had good deals on 29" tvs, home theatre systems,
and dvds.what can i say?money certainly can't buy happiness, but they
(and by they i mean a shitload of fuluus) can buy you the things that can
make you happy.

la la la...la la la...la la la...

jennifer esposito,natalie imbruglia,kylie minogue,.......to be continued.

i hereby declare dangdut is dead.

long live boy bands.

i don't know what's wrong with me today, but i've been breaking wind all day long....it was funny
in the beginning, but now it's just embarrassing.....where did all those gas come from?must be
all the coke/100plus i drank earlier..sheeesh...

patricia richardson,eliza dushku,majandra delfino,nasha aziz,matsu takako,isabella rosellini,
ryoko hirosue,elizabeth hurley,nicole kidman,helen hunt,shiri appleby,heather graham,
jenna elfman,naomi watts,wynona ryder,leelee sobieski,katie holmes....to be continued.

a few years ago, while i was discussing the subject of teenagers (about us, of course) with a
close friend, the person said, "in my opinion, as long as you're still studying, you are still a
teenager."

it's been a while, and the last time i heard, that person's still in the varsity. i guess that counts.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

there was this girl at FKA. she was tiny.she wore braces.from the look on her faces, you'd
never guess she had athma.she had many friends in the faculty, but i never really knew her.

recently, she came down with high fever.usually, one would recover fully from a fever, but this
girl had athma.

she passed away this morning.her name is norjuhana.

marilah kita bersama-sama menyedekahkan surah al-Fatihah dan berdo'a agar ruhnya
ditempatkan bersama ruh-ruh orang yang beriman.

al-Fatihah.

i believe (mcm biasa dengar saja intro ni) that the coolest thing to do is doing something
you really dig.as long as it's legal, one don't have to give two shits about other people's
opinion.some people like to jam.some like to be alone.some like to be with close friends.

what'd be really cool for me to do is to get into a car (bila nak beli ni, siol betullah) with my
cd collection (not very extensive, but enough) and drive all day/night long, music blaring from
the speakers.singing along, playing air drums on the steering wheel, miming like a...mime..

not so cool lah, but definitely cooler than Mat Kool.

my joy came to an abrupt ending.the dvd player won't play on my old tv.damn.
well, i guess i'll pack it and give it to any newlyweds.
so much for technology,huh?...goodbye, andrea.
it's kind of a blessing, though.i won't be staying up so late during weekdays anymore.cool.
before: no life
now: no life + no dvd.....ain't life a bastard.

i heard on the 'net that there was a quasi-secret/rumour goin' on.ha ha.
i guess the 'big brother' is not so big now!
my my.......

i'v finally decided to take the plunge and join in the crowd..bought me a dvd player.
it's strange how people have the need to buy a dvd player, when they already own
a vcd player....i guess i'm one of the suckers..anyway, it was worth every ringgit,
as i watched andrea corr singing with her siblings in high resolution on my TV.it was
like she performed live,man!...na, i'm kidding.

one of the songs on their set (MTV unplugged) caught my attention...'old town'.
the chorus goes:

this boy is cracking up
this boy has broken down
this boy is cracking up
this boy has broke down

i think (my interpretation, that is) that the song's about a boy who had his heart
crushed by a girl that he loved, and he tried hard to move on as he's still in love with her.

maybe it's about something else, something completely different.
maybe it's just me having the blues......

they say the best thing in the world is happiness
they never said it'd be hard to find it

i got decent grades
and yet there's still something missing
i stayed away from all the madness
and yet there's still something missing
i ignored all the distractions
and yet there's still something missing
made it through without a scratch
and yet there's still something missing
now i'm well off
and yet there's still something missing
i could have anything i want
and yet there's still something missing
i thought i'd figure that missing thing out, but
would it still be missing?

could anybody figure me out?

today,in skudai, johor, a large number of my friends are accepting their scrolls at UTM's
convocation.some of them i knew,some i knew well,most of them i regard as brothers/elders.
in particular, they're my housemates/brothers-in-perantauan/etc.in the beginning,i didn't expect
14 persons possessing extreme personalities to live together in a cramped house.but we did it.
for three whole years.

wow.


when i looked back at those years,i laughed.hard.we went through stupid times,bitter,dark,
depressing,often volatile.it was a miracle that we managed to stay fairly decent for that long!
man, even the toilet gave out in the first year!ha ha ha...we literally had to queue up
to take a dump..it was not pleasant to wait to crap...what else?there's the drug period,and then
the 'totally broke' period....who could forget the stolen motorcycles! dengue..yeah,and when the
thieves broke in..everyone were left penniless..and couldn't bear to borrow.*grin*...


now...now you're all engineers,earning 2k++ a month...no worries now, man...just remember
2js4..all the times we had...we are mates..and always will be....i'm kicking myself for missing
you guys' graduation....congrats,fellows..


with all my heart...congratulations.

listen up, people! i need a few words of wisdom here....i don't know if it's the medication, or lack of sleep scrambled my brains..
i'm having second thoughts about the future here..
..should i keep working/further studies/loaf for a while/etc?

1 - stop working and pursue a masters' degree?
2 - keep on working and lead a dull life?
3 - stop working and take a while to figure out things (my shit)?
4 - (this is where you guys come in. insert your suggestions here)?

yeah...and by the way...salam ma'al hijrah...what's your hijrah?

norah jones

don't know why
come away with me
painter song
i've got to see you again.................

great/awesome/ear candy/heart-wrenching/mesmeri(s/z)ing (take your pick)

selamat tahun baru kambing....make some goat noise!

during any moment in our lives,
did we stop? just for a teeny tiny fraction of a time
and try to figure out what we're doing
justify our actions....inject some sense into our dos and don'ts
regret what happened?regret what didn't?

sometimes i do, and it enlightened me on a few occasions
but most of the times, i just end up feeling like shit.

fa-la-la-la-la,la-la-la-la.

the holidays are here!

::deman's wedding::

date: sunday, 26th January, 2003
venue: deman's village in kulim
time: all day and all of the night
present: syarmizar,sofian,fahmi,pijar,azrim,latif,firdaus mat som,sharizan,hafiz,
asrar and faizal...and others
verdict: great wedding, wonderful wife,cool whitewater rafting site add up to a
good impression of kulim.

headache
got up early
got a meeting
hours in a cold cabin,answering questions
tooth aches,gum bleeds
went out in the scorching sun
easy target for brain-numbing migraine
head pounding head pounding head pounding head pounding head pounding head pounding
still....i'm typing in front of the pc
need a rest

why does my tooth feel so bad?sakit gigi siol.

why does my heart feel so bad?

i can say,and i believe most of you out there would agree,that 23 years isn't that long.i mean,
it seems like just yesterday,i enrolled in UTM skudai.and now (about 5 seconds later) i'm
already working.ah,all those yesterdays.and,before we all knew it,we'd be in our 40s,having
our mid-life crises (ha).well,maybe most of us.i remembered my professor in FKA once said
(and i quote)"there are hardworkers and backbenchers in this class.the hardworkers would be
studying hard while the backbenchers make noises and woo girls.five years from now,all the
backbenchers will be the hardworkers' bosses.this is true.life is not fair.
you'll have to accept this damn fact"

what more can i say.the most honest opinion coming from a (not so) honest person.ha.say
what you want,this statement is the truth.they will be our bosses.they will earn more money.
they are the ones who'd get less work done.i sound bitter,don't i?

i AM bitter.

sunday.cuti,mcm biasa.not enough,actually.patut kerja 5 days a week saja.typical la construction
sector.nothing much to do on a weekday, and that's exactly what i intended to do.quite blissful,
actually.serene...went jogging (yikes!)at Taman Rimba petang tadi.lama siol tak jogging.did
about 2 rounds of warming up and tried a full round of running...got really pancit at first but then
as i struggled to stay running, my mind wandered and i sort of thought of something else
(with my eyes on the track-lah, u crazy,what?)..u know what?i managed to run a full round!
(macam bagus je e?)..then i deduced that sometimes u don't have to 'put your mind into it'..
just do the exact opposite and wait to be surprised!
i sort of remembered the film 'matrix' where neo is fighting morpheus in the 'japanese room',
and neo is losing the battle.when the fight is midway and neo appears witless,morpheus comes
up to him and said,"do u think my being stronger in here has anything to do with my muscles?
...do u think that's air you're breathing?"that particular scene suddenly caught my attention as
it suddenly made sense....why do u need air when you're in a computer program?
well, i'd probably go jogging again next week, God-Willing
....to top all these schmageggi, here's a few jokes...

Joke #1
Why did the film 'glitter' (starring mariah carey) flopped?
they didn't include Dato' M Daud Kilau in it..............geddit?

i know,i know....it's a bad joke..but the next one's even worse!

Joke#2
Did u know that the movie 'charlie's angels' was shot partially in kedah?
yup, it was shot in Tanjung Chali.............................................................geddit?

ha ha ha..friggin ha....

penat......

seriously......i miss my friends...all of 'em.

i hereby dedicate this song to them....'my friends' (RHCP)

i just found out something

kwasyiorkor <------------------nama penyakit paling kelakar dalam dunia

well..just bought the sophomore effort from audioslave...i couldn't believe artists with such great
histories could come up with the most terrible shit i've ever heard.maybe they've lost it...and
have yet to find it.

RATM..well,without zack,you're all just..how should i phrase it.."AGAINST"..ha...and chris
cornell....the solo album was not too bad...you shouldn't have left soundgarden,man.you and
thayil.........those were the good old days....
heard that billy corgan formed a group.....is it the reincarnation of rock?seriously, the single
"honestly" made radio worth listening again....although it's not Iha riffing. you can't have your
cake and eat it too.

soundgarden..smashing pumpkins..stone temple pilots.........incredible
scoin..spring..spoon...........................................................malas nak taip daa

nothing much.....just waiting for tomorrow to start...

okaerinasaii....
dah skip 1 hari dah...is the thrill gone?..where's the fire......

if someone/anyone glanced at this blog,they'd notice that there're a few flaws here and there.
it'd took some time for me to fix them.actually, i like flaws/imperfections/et cetera.of all
features,flaws could reflect who you really are.what you chose to do/ not to do.or what you are
capable of.

can anyone point out the real reason?he he he..........

twenty-three years old......wow...the word 'old' really got into me...it's funny though, being
among the earliest babies born....everyone reacted like it was something extra-ordinary

"ya ka?betui ni?semua orang celebrate no?"
"serius ni?"
"wow"
"sugoii desyo ne" <------- i made this one up...he he he...

the thing i really remembered about my birthday is this story about my (late) father's attempt to
have me registered as a 1979 baby.my aunts told me the story about how my father pestered a
doctor to bump my birthdate up to 1979...he wasn't succesful.i'm glad he didn't get what he
wanted.it would be very uncool to be born on the 31st December(any year).

that's one fond memory i have of my father.

ok, let's stop all these sappy shits.as i was saying, if you're born on the 1st of January,people
will get excited and all that...but, if you're born on the 2nd of January..you're nothing.nada.it
doesn't matter if the difference is only 24 hours(or less).it's like what they always say...
second place is the first loser.

one interesting fact.if you are heavily into Eastern mysticism, you would find out that those
religions believe that everybody is born one year old.

wokeh.kepada azman dan and (no pun intended) najib panjang, happy new year, happy
birthday.we are twenty-three, going on twenty-four......slowing down?