last night was particularly boring.wednesday night, whaddaya expect?i got bored,and in the
middle of finding some old stuff,i searched through an old drawer,which haven't been opened
in,well,quite a few years.there was a lot of trash (all drawers have trash),bills,envelopes,
greeting cards and all things you could fit into a drawer.i also found some stuff i thought i'd
lost for so many years,i thought i'd never see them again.

an A4-sized letterhead bearing dad's name and designation, and a few short forms that followed
after.a notebook with a few scribblings,probably some of his calculations on mineral properties.
his writing was terrible,but i managed to read it.actually,it was kind of weird looking at all these
stuff because i could understand what he was writing,yet i wouldn't be able to understand him.
it's like what they say,right?you can't have your cake and eat it too.yeah,well..........

another finding that took me by surprise was two letters from my (half) brother to my dad.it was
dated back in 1987.my bro was 12 or 13 then.he had been writing,telling my dad he'd taken one
of those MRSM intake tests and he hoped that he'd be admitted.he also said that he was
terrible in maths and he expressed his gratitude for the cheques that my dad kept sending him.
i know there must be more than two letters for my dad,but i think it's lost somewhere.
i know my dad loved my bro.i don't know for real if the feeling is mutual.
maybe i'll ask him one day.

there was also stuff from my teenage years (bunyi macam dah tua ja).letters,cards,photos,
giftwrappers,mainly from the opposite sex.what a discovery,man! i mean,gila jiwang time tuh!
i gagged a few times (who wouldn't?),but most of the time, i had to stop myself from laughing
like a madman.those stuff brought back some sweet/forgettable/painful/haunting memories.

there were these letters from a girl (i'm not going to waste my time typing 'a person') from a
neighbouring boarding school.we were,like,pen pals (not the right term,yes?)and constantly
corresponding throughout 1995-98.we were quite civil, with phrases like "hope you're doing
well","jgn nakal nakal",and other shit often appeared in the letters.we've lost contact since varsity.

i remembered a period when i was getting all arty and stuff, and i started sketching and writing
offensive stuff (discreetly,of course) in a little notepad, but i never showed any of that shit to
anybody.then,after a few days,when i had the urge to draw again,and reached for the pad,i
found some writings in pencil, commenting on my artwork.my very own critic! i never knew who
she was (or do i? he he), but i guess she could sense a troubled mind from miles away,
let alone just a few metres. to mystery-critic, i stillam a troubled person,and i don't think
i'd be free from them.to be honest,i found your handwriting's awfully similiar to a friend of mine.
hmm.....

another set of letters from....hmmm...yep,uh-huh.....i'd like to call it a "failed attempt".
that's too much information.moving on........

i was glad i found these writings, it's been a while since i'd reminisce about the past.
the present's not too colourful,though.it's what they call "adult life".

ha ha ha.