Tahun Baru, Azam Baru, Johor Bahru

you know what? it's been a while since i had a new
year's resolution.

it's not like i got caught up in the 'chinese new year'
craze thing, or something, but i think...it's a good
list to have while you're still...well...

well, this year my resolution is not to be a better man.
in fact, my new year resolution is to be a bad boy in
2007.

The list goes something like this. I shall be a bad boy
and do bad things. I shall: -

1. kentut dalam lif. atau lrt. atau mana-mana tempat
tertutup dengan orang. of course, secara diam-diam.
(dan gelak jahat secara diam-diam jugek)

2. Shut down PC dekat suis plag, bukan guna suis
kat CPU.

3. Mabuk, salah guna pil khayal, rempit, kaki pompuan,
tak bayar parking, litterbug, tekan hon kat orang tengah
jogging sampai heartbeat dia meningkat...all of that during
the weekends only. weekdays kerja la bang.

4. Bayar benda beli guna duit Siam. This is the most
dangerous thing to do.

5. Panggil kucing 'c.c.c.c' (that cat-calling thing)
ajak dia makan, tapi tak bagi makan. mesti kucing
tu panas gila. But not all the time. I 'm not a heartless
bastard.

6. Pee in the sea. 'nuff said.

7. Tak balas SMS. (uu, jahat) ataupun MMS ataupun
segala MS yang sewaktu dengannya.

8. Menyebarkan berita palsu mengenai Amer Imran.
Actually, this is a carry over from what I've been
doing now. Contohnya e.g. Joe kerja friendster.com
dan ada t-shirt free untuk kawan-kawan...Joe kerja
jual sports rim kereta wira, sapa nak diskaun kontek
dia....Joe jadi duta barangan elektrik jenama LG (this
one's real)....and my most favourite, Joe sembahyang
sambil meniarap.

9. Rembat tuala hotel.

10. Pinjam DVD member dan peram DVD tersebut.

11. Tukar ringtone handphone member kepada
bunyi yang mengaibkan...you get ma drift?

12. Makan kat hotel guna tangan. and afterwards jilat
hisap dan jilat jari. actually this one's not that bad
'cus it's amalan Rasul.

13. Dengar lagu 'Bila April' nyanyian Fazley.

14. Dengar lagu 'Bila April' kuat kuat.....dalam kereta
.........windows down.

15. Bila makan kat kedai, ambik tisu dalam kuantiti
secara melampau sampai tuan kedai pandang 'slack'.

16. Bila penjual DVD (ala, yg mai kt kedai makan tu)
cuba nak juai, tawar a.k.a. bargain gila-gila sampai
dia setuju harga tak munasabah tu, last-last cakap
kat dia, 'gua beli lain kali la, tawkey'.

17. Guna taktik busuk nak pakai wi-fi free certain kedai
tapi takmau duduk kedai tu spend duit. Taktik tersebut?
Duduk bertinggung DEKAT TAK HINGAT dengan
kedai tu (untuk memastikan signal kuat) dan surf
sambil tertawa jahat. Disclaimer: your thigh mucles
may be sore the following morning. overdose
bertinggung.

18. Main PS2 free kat kedai Sony.

19. Tukar wallpaper PC member kepada gambar
yang mengaibkan. Lepas tu panggil semua orang
tengok. Lepas tu gelak ramai-ramai.

20. Sergah kucing.

21. Beli FHM UK.

22. Pekena budak praktikal kat ofis.

23. Bila orang tanya soalan, jawab dengan ayat yang
tah hapa hapa, seperti 'no komen',' haritu Din cakap
okey', dan 'i've got time'.

24. Buat lawak 'knock knock' dengan member,
tapi dalam bahasa melayu. Lepas tu gelak sorang-
sorang.

25. Miscall dengan sengaja. Save kredit. Kepada
member yang ringtone hampeh just now.

26. Pi hypermarket ambik trolley, tapi beli cuma berus
gigi sebatang saja. Lepas tu bayar guna note RM100.

27.Not executing any of the above.

Why, you might ask?

Because, as Oscar J. Wilde said,

"Nice guys finish last"

oh yeah, and lastly

28. Lie to people about famous quotations.