hancing gua kerna tipu.

i actually am quite honest when giving answers to most
questions, most of the times. but when the opportunity
comes to give an obscure answer (read: bluff), which sounds almost
as believeable as the real thing, obviously my horns pop
out and the 'nwr fhm' takes over.

usually it would take a few moments before the people
who asked, to 'get it'. their reactions differed and ranged
from enraged to laughing their asses off.

i recalled, on one occasion, being on the receiving end.
it's quite a sobering moment.

karma.

i was researching about life in australia, when i realised
a varsity mate had lived there with his wife for two years,
when they did their masters together.

he's quite a 'skema' guy, so i expected to get as much
info from 'im as possible. halal food, what to bring and
do's and don'ts. the whole shebang.

so i asked him,

'rizal, kat sana makanan halal banyak ka?'

'banyak, sana banyak orang islam'

'ya ka. betui ka nih?'

'hang jgn risau. kalau agak2 hang tak berapa konfiden
nak makan kat sana, hang cari daging kanggaru. kat
sana daging kanggaru halal'

'ya ka? hang biasa rasa? macam mana rasa dia?'

'sedap la. hang kalau nak rasa daging kanggaru, hang
ambik daging belah kantung dia. belah yang tu yg paling
sedap dalam semua-semua sekali'

'o ya ka'

after what seemed like a few milliseconds, i heard him
laugh.

mercilessly.

'hampeh rizal, hang goreng aku rupanya!'

'keh keh keh. dulu hg pekena aku tu apadia? hi hi hi'

cis.

everytime i recall this 'cemerkap' thing, i'd laugh. i have
to admit, i should've seen this coming.

so ladies and gents, the morals of this story: -

1. what goes around comes around.
2. always trust people.
3. be honest and just.
4. kalau jumpa tipah, kirim salam kat dia.

jaga lu, rizal!

Coretan.

Ayuh mencoret.

al-Fatihah.

i heard the news today.

one of my favourite person in Africa was
the manager there.

he was one of two managers who opened my
company's shop in Abesha. the hardships they
faced were legendary. it became anecdotes
when we had our dinners and lunches together.

he was the calm, composed one. the other
manager has his tempers flared up easily.

together, they faced the hardship of being
foreigners trying to present my company's
intentions and hopes for this country.

on saturday, he boarded a Cessna from the
drillsite, heading for the capital.

about 10km from arrival, the plane crashed.

two survived, out of three. he didn't make
it.

he passed away.

i still didn't what happened and how it
happened, but when i heard the news, i feel
deflated.

he was like a father figure to me.

i will certainly miss him. greatly.

inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'uun.

menurunkan rumah itu.

'bringing down the house'.

uf, lawak dol.

Jacaranda-1.

What a bizarre fetish.

Tokojut Eden.

I just found out that I could view
where I lived in Gambela, Ethiopia using Google Maps!

Berdebar debar hati pakcik!

Fuyo!

(by the way, Wolfmother is too close to Mars Volta, which
is not so bad)

Lagu yang oh lazat pada deria rasa telinga

I've been hearing rave reviews about a canadian
rock band.

arcade fire.

they've put out two albums already. 'funeral' and 'neon bible'.

anybody got any opinion? i'll be buying thems cds soon, but i don't
know which i should get first.

and the other's wolfmother. their self-titled album's making
rowdy nowadays.

i just bought the cd. it's not too bad. t'is the kind that you
have to listen several times.

if i were to describe it, it may be in the veins of mars volta,
deep purple, led zeppelin.

i'll let y'all know la'er.

cham was my roommate. he got married last week.

we traveled to Sabak Bernam.

we, the dwellers of 2js4 hung out at his
place.

it was a blast. gelak sampai nak pecah kepala.

member kahwin dgn orang pahang.

tauke kedai tu. makan free a nanti beb.

2 dah kahwin. satu lagi next week nak menikah.

tinggal lagi sepuluh.

and then lepak shah alam dengan orang melakee.

lama tak dengaq orang melakee cakap,

"menyirap betul aku aa!".

kih kih kih.

i was kind of in a gloomy mood until i saw
these pictures.

how could you not laugh?

but it's not appropriate to laugh at these
creatures.

but i did.

you could see the truth in their eyes.


road rage.

ha ha ha.

i couldn't really recall how many pics i posted last time.
but here goes.

here's where i stayed. about 100 people stayed here.
we played soccer in the afternoons. very nice place.

we got some fish from the river. it was a fun thing
to do until our superintendent stopped us.

but we did it it afterwards.

then the river ran dry.

this is the runway that i designed.

i'm very proud of it.

that's how i feel about it.


i didn't get a chance to actually land on this
runway, but maybe fate will decide whether
we will meet again.


these are the guys that made it happen.

contractors.

soldiers.

it's quite useful if you want to jog for
1000metres.

and a cool 'rumah hinggap' for rent.

anybody want?

rent myr150 plus utilities. near the river.

but the river dried up.

hot girls of Gambela.

1 day in Gambela, you may find one beauty.
1 week, you'd find ten.
1 month, even the donkey's gorgeous!

we hung out there when we went to find supplies.

each journey covered 200km.

one way.

and it took 4 hours.

if everything went perfectly.

the journey to the mountainside on the way to
Addis Ababa.

kinda phallic.

basically, it's a drilling rig for onshore.

it's about 50m tall.

i'm surprised how well it sits on the ground.

hasn't misbehaved so far.

ashkar.

bak kata orang kedah.

wataddar.

bak kata orang abesha.

the road to camp.

you could hit 100km/h on your landcruiser.

be careful.

don't hit any pigs.

what da ya thinks?

i got one more pic i wanted to post,
but it has the soldadus wielding
their militaric might.

so i didn't.

Lepak Sekuat Hati.

Got in touch with some friends from
school last night.

It's been a while since we hung out, so
of course there's a lot to talk about.

Holiday destinations, migrating (which
made me jump!), who broke up with
whom, how to tackle girls (not physically),
and italian food.

It's sobering to be taught how to win
a girl's heart by three girls.

I guess they know what works, huh?

Okay, maybe I'll take up some of it.

Don't be funny all the time. Drop a few
hints. Dont' be irrititating. Be confident.

I lost track after I had my lasagna.

Anyways, it's great to hear about them,
and we had a great time.

So, I guess I'll meet you guys in States
before heading to Macchu Picchu, aight?

Nicely put.

japanese and amharic.

i like these two lingua. as well as them
being beautiful tongue-twisters, the deeper
motive for me learning them is to communicate
with, or to understand.

but that's not the case.

i fell in love with nihon-go when i was in
johor, actually. those saturdays and sundays
(and most weekdays) were spent watching
nihon doramas (dramas). ntv7 aired them and
i was dumbstruck at how fine the leading
ladies were.

you could say it was love at first view.

aii.

at the time, it was ms takako tokiwa who
was the leading lady, and mr takuya kimura
as the leading man.

together, they starred in 'beautiful life'.

i heard it's the best dorama ever.

although, some might say it's 'long vacation'.

the list goes on. overtime, hero, tell me that
you love me, love love love, beach boys,
shotgun marriage.

they all have subtitles but i hate to see
them, because i know there's something
lost in the translation.

so i bought 'how to speak japanese' and
did my own jap-style nihon.

alas, my command was below, way below average.

still, i relish the days when i would view
cds after cds of those doramas. one season
an average of eight cds.

takku-san. zettaini takkusan.

now, i barely make time for those doramas.
they're still there in 8tv. maybe i should
revisit.

sugoi.

amharic. well. this is a different story
altogether. being in a different country
with a different lingua is a challenge.

well, not that big of a challenge. some
of the abeshas speak arabic.

ana la' fi mushkil. well, not all the time.

i grew bored of listening to the translator
doing his work that i decided to learn
amharic and see what'll happen.

it opened my eyes to a whole new experience.

it turned out, there's nothing more beautiful
to them than a foreigner trying to learn
amharic. besar hati, bak kata orang dolu dolu.

so whenever i wanted to order coffee with
less sugar, i'd say

'ahund bunna, tinnish sukarin'.

and they would laugh and pat my back.

they are gentle people and quickly warmed
up to us. i was taken aback by how pure
they were.

i liked chilled oranges so, everyday i
requested to the cook,

'kezkezah bertukan, buzu buzu'

and i got them. thank god. food was scarce
then.

my nickname there was 'tinnish anbessa'
which meant 'little lion'.

i don't know where they dug that up. maybe
because i was telling stories about lions
to them previously, i think.

anyways, there you go. essentially, a guy
got a chance to learn what is life in the
neck of the woods. catching fish for lunch.
wild meat.

nomads clashing.

but that's a different story altogether.

i dreamt of djinni.

she appeared in my sleep this morning.

i was heading for work, wearing a hardhat.

which is funny.

it might be a saturday, because there's
noone else around.

on the way to the registration counter, i
was surprised to see her there. in scrubs.
what do you call a doctor's attire? yeah,
that's it.

i looked at me and found out that i'm
wearing scrubs meself. with a hardhat.

confusing.

i signed the book, and then she.

her handwriting was different.

and then she saw me. her expression turned
to that of a cranky person.

hm.

she said something, and for the life of me,
i can't remember it.

i woke up at the crack of athan, feeling
lethargic.

prolly my subconscious was too confused.

(disclaimer: i do not wear a hardhat to work
in daytime. the only place i will wear a hardhat
only and only if my head's safety and integrity
is compromised whatsoever.)

Single Lens Refleks, Sudut Refleks

A friend recently bought a D40.

I nearly coughed blood when I heard the news,
since he just bought a powershot.

When I read the reviews about D40, it was
encouraging. It made me want to upgrade from
my T5 (which is equivalent to D minus 20).

It didn't hurt that the price is right.

So I consulted another friend. Another aficionado.

Now I have a different gut feeling.

Just now, I saw the D40's work on his fotopage.

I couldn't believe my eyes. He took pictures of
monkeys, and they were the most beautiful-est
sapiens I've ever seen!

I also saw some pictures that he took during a seminar.
Man, they were awesome. The subjects were ugly
in real life, yet somehow the D (excuse the short form)
made them look real nice.

(Disclaimer: those ugly people probably have hearts of gold.
It's me who's ugly on the inside.)

Just imagine. If a D40 could make you look devastatingly
striking, what could a D80 do?

Turn you into an immortal?

shot in the afternoon with negative oev

also, with negative oev

also the same



good, gooder, goodest

i guess that everybody's better than everybody,
when it comes to rating themselves.

i rate meself as somewhere just below average.
it's a funny thing.

it's another funny thing when you least expected
it, you could learn something from a person that
you totally never expect to educate you.

when i was in africa, my drilling superintendent
indirectly showed me how to take a picture at
night without using flash.

what he demonstrated was, you could play around
with your oev settings to make your ccd more
or less sensitive towards light. you could use
that to your advantage, when shooting in
less than favourable lighting conditions.

i took his advice and came up with these permutations.

monster.

Ahh.

Some time off is good for your stress levels.

I should rephrase that.

I took some time off and I'm not too stressed.

And not be too affected by what has been said,
and what will be said.

cornetto falsetto

secara kasarnya, falsetto diterjemahkan
sebagai bunyi key tinggi tapi sebenarnya,
tak la tinggi tara mana.

contoh penggunaan falsetto ialah apabila
bapuk-bapuk menyanyi lagu britney spears,
sedangkan jelas suara mereka kasar seperti
suara gilbert gottfried.

ataupun, bagi peminat kumpulan permaisuri
zaman batu (qotsa), lagu 'i never came'
adalah contoh suatu lagu yang dinyanyikan
oleh j. ho di mana 'key'nya tidak dapat
dicapai oleh 'operatic range' mamat tersebut.

kerana mamat tu malas nak pi kelas vokal
siti hajar, dia mengambil jalan pintas
dengan mengamalkan falsetto semasa sesi
rakaman.

hasilnya, lagu 'i never came' adalah satu-
satunya lagu qotsa yang meniti sempadan
di antara sedap dan 'rasa-nak-tikam-gegendang
-telinga'.

contoh lain termasuklah filem melayu 'rock'
(rasa-rasanya tajuk dia rock kut)
lakonan que haidar. dia menjadi 'lead
singer' kepada sebuah 'hair band' dan
falsetto tak hingat, macam esok dah tak
buleh falsetto.

i don't have any comments on the subject
of cornetto.

yang benar,
ong chai peng.

D Minor ialah Kord yang Paling Sedih Dalam Sejarah Kord Gitar

ye. kenyataan di atas ada kebenarannya.

kebanyakan lagu sedih bermula dengan kord D minor.

tapi lagu 'in the fade' menggunakan kord e minor, c sharp minor dan
a major, tetapi masih berjaya mengekalkan 'feel' sedihnya.

kalau tak percaya, cuba ambil gitar dan strum kord D minor. kepada
yang tak reti main gitar tu, cuba suruh kawan anda strum kord tu.

nescaya anda berdua akan meleleh air mata la la tu jugak.

fOR uNLAWFUL cARNAL kNOWLEDGE

this past few weeks had been pretty
much stressful.

perhaps it's the ever-increasing work.

perhaps i'm missing Gambela so much.

perhaps it's the pace of the city.

perhaps, for the past three months, her
face keeps popping up in my dreams.

in my head.

in my thoughts.

there's too many sleepless nights.

i fucking hate this.

i saw the new OS by Microsoft today.

the tagline was quite right.

it does make you go, 'wow'.

or, 'wau'.

Tahun Baru, Azam Baru, Johor Bahru

you know what? it's been a while since i had a new
year's resolution.

it's not like i got caught up in the 'chinese new year'
craze thing, or something, but i think...it's a good
list to have while you're still...well...

well, this year my resolution is not to be a better man.
in fact, my new year resolution is to be a bad boy in
2007.

The list goes something like this. I shall be a bad boy
and do bad things. I shall: -

1. kentut dalam lif. atau lrt. atau mana-mana tempat
tertutup dengan orang. of course, secara diam-diam.
(dan gelak jahat secara diam-diam jugek)

2. Shut down PC dekat suis plag, bukan guna suis
kat CPU.

3. Mabuk, salah guna pil khayal, rempit, kaki pompuan,
tak bayar parking, litterbug, tekan hon kat orang tengah
jogging sampai heartbeat dia meningkat...all of that during
the weekends only. weekdays kerja la bang.

4. Bayar benda beli guna duit Siam. This is the most
dangerous thing to do.

5. Panggil kucing 'c.c.c.c' (that cat-calling thing)
ajak dia makan, tapi tak bagi makan. mesti kucing
tu panas gila. But not all the time. I 'm not a heartless
bastard.

6. Pee in the sea. 'nuff said.

7. Tak balas SMS. (uu, jahat) ataupun MMS ataupun
segala MS yang sewaktu dengannya.

8. Menyebarkan berita palsu mengenai Amer Imran.
Actually, this is a carry over from what I've been
doing now. Contohnya e.g. Joe kerja friendster.com
dan ada t-shirt free untuk kawan-kawan...Joe kerja
jual sports rim kereta wira, sapa nak diskaun kontek
dia....Joe jadi duta barangan elektrik jenama LG (this
one's real)....and my most favourite, Joe sembahyang
sambil meniarap.

9. Rembat tuala hotel.

10. Pinjam DVD member dan peram DVD tersebut.

11. Tukar ringtone handphone member kepada
bunyi yang mengaibkan...you get ma drift?

12. Makan kat hotel guna tangan. and afterwards jilat
hisap dan jilat jari. actually this one's not that bad
'cus it's amalan Rasul.

13. Dengar lagu 'Bila April' nyanyian Fazley.

14. Dengar lagu 'Bila April' kuat kuat.....dalam kereta
.........windows down.

15. Bila makan kat kedai, ambik tisu dalam kuantiti
secara melampau sampai tuan kedai pandang 'slack'.

16. Bila penjual DVD (ala, yg mai kt kedai makan tu)
cuba nak juai, tawar a.k.a. bargain gila-gila sampai
dia setuju harga tak munasabah tu, last-last cakap
kat dia, 'gua beli lain kali la, tawkey'.

17. Guna taktik busuk nak pakai wi-fi free certain kedai
tapi takmau duduk kedai tu spend duit. Taktik tersebut?
Duduk bertinggung DEKAT TAK HINGAT dengan
kedai tu (untuk memastikan signal kuat) dan surf
sambil tertawa jahat. Disclaimer: your thigh mucles
may be sore the following morning. overdose
bertinggung.

18. Main PS2 free kat kedai Sony.

19. Tukar wallpaper PC member kepada gambar
yang mengaibkan. Lepas tu panggil semua orang
tengok. Lepas tu gelak ramai-ramai.

20. Sergah kucing.

21. Beli FHM UK.

22. Pekena budak praktikal kat ofis.

23. Bila orang tanya soalan, jawab dengan ayat yang
tah hapa hapa, seperti 'no komen',' haritu Din cakap
okey', dan 'i've got time'.

24. Buat lawak 'knock knock' dengan member,
tapi dalam bahasa melayu. Lepas tu gelak sorang-
sorang.

25. Miscall dengan sengaja. Save kredit. Kepada
member yang ringtone hampeh just now.

26. Pi hypermarket ambik trolley, tapi beli cuma berus
gigi sebatang saja. Lepas tu bayar guna note RM100.

27.Not executing any of the above.

Why, you might ask?

Because, as Oscar J. Wilde said,

"Nice guys finish last"

oh yeah, and lastly

28. Lie to people about famous quotations.