it's thursday. and it's approximately 45 mins until i get out of the office
and hit the weekends,man o man.

i was supposed to go to a trip to java next week. i was psyched, and
nervous as hell. it'll be my first working trip there, and i'd bee lying
if i said it wasn't about the money. it is, maybe always will.....

well, i can't go because i have to attend some sort of training all of
next week. i am seriously bummed. because i can't go there, not
because of the money, man. i want to know the place, sort of
familiarize myself. but it's not gonna happen.

it hasn't been a very good week, i must admit.

i hope the next one's better.

dah berapa lama dah tak jumpek saudara burn nih...



ahh.....now worries then, huh.....when's the time machine gonna be ready ?



jaguh rempit skudai kini lemas dalam dakapan jibam

aku serius tak dapat menerima hakikat rasaksa ini akan mendirikan masjid dalam masa terdekat.
kejutan budaya teruk teruk.

i can't seem to get any sleep tonight. so here i am writing a post, just to get some
peace of mind.

a friend's father passed away early yesterday. i woke up late, reading a text message
informing me of the sad news. i woke up at 11am and quickly got ready to ziarah.
it was a sad day for him and the family, obviously. and he was somewhat disoriented.

later that afternoon, i found myself among others attending the burial, shortly after the
asar prayers.the weather was good, and it went well. it has been a long time since i
attended a 'pengkebumian'. it is strange how you feel somewhat subdued, when you
heard the speech, or talqin given by the imam shortly after the last piece of earth is
put into place.

' wahai si fulan binti ibunya , apabila datang malaikat kepada kamu, dan bertanya ia
ma rabbuka ? ma imaamuka ?..........'

how close we are to death, and the only thing real in life is death itself. how lonely we
are when all the people who attended the burial slowly disperse, leaving us in solitude
and waiting for the angel to arrive.

i left a little bit early, just when he's about to pour air mawar upon his father's grave.
i think that if i'd stay longer, tears would just come down, for this is too sad
an event.

May Allah bless his soul, Amiin.....

ladies and gents, let me tell you a story.

better yet, let me tell you a love story. yes, it's a different posting this time.

but, there's a twist to it : it doesn't have a happy ending. it has a sucky ending; a fucked-up ending, if you will. just like any love story related to yours truly (couldn't resist taking a dig here.......)

so, there's this guy, see, and he's set his sights on this girl since they were 16. they were in the same class, and she's quite a hottie, and he's....well, let's just say that she's hot. yup.

so, high school came and went, and they both attended the same varsity, and at this stage, he decided that he'd court her, since in the varsity, you have to admit, she's got more to choose from. he was quite an introvert person, actually, but nevertheless, he went on and vigoriously courted her.

as time went by, she began to see him as a nice guy and (a safe bet, perhaps?) both of 'em became an item. he was always obliging to her needs and whims. i can't say that it's a female-dominated relationship, but it became apparent that the man was always caving in to the woman's needs and ways.

i won't go into details here, so i'll just fast-forward to six years later.

six years later, both man and woman are young professionals. and they were in a long-distance relationship. she's doing okay, but he's not doing that great...until recently. he got a higher-paying job, and he thought he'd break the good news to his woman first, and furthermore discuss their future together.

but alas, all is not well.

as he sat down with the woman he loved, she coldly told him that she'll be engaged to another man in two month's time. and that they'd be married in the near future.....just like that.

he didn't even get a chance to break the good news.

you could literally hear his heart breaking.

for your information, this story is not about me. nope. the guy is a good friend of mine, from the old days of skudai. i saw them together during the student years and all i have to say is that...he was just oblivious to the woman's ways. i kind of saw his "better half" as not soulmate-material, but i hate to be the party-pooper and rat the bitch out. some of us kind of not particularly like her, but friend's sake, what the hey, right.

i was just as surprised as a monkey when i heard his story.damn, i thought they were gonna get together, and i was proved wrong. but it was the other side of the coin.

alas.

so there you go.

on another sombre note, i bought another maxis starter pack with a keyellllll...number, and for those of you out there who knew me, if +60123824411 appears on your mobile, it's Fahmi.

for those out there who don't know me, if +60123824411 appears on your mobile, the stalker's name is Fahmi.

i visited an and am's father today. for those of you not in the know, he suffered a stroke last week and only this early morning he woke up.

it's 2005.

i'm 25 years old.

i think i might be having a mid-mid-life-crisis.

i don't have any specific new year resolution, as always. i don't think resolutions are wasting time, it's just that i'm not that motivated to set any specific goals. well, i better start setting
one now.

my new year's resolution is to be a less boring person.

that is very hard to achieve.

well, i'm now in kedah for two weeks to recuperate. it's day one and i'm already bored to death.
i got to hang out with my friends just a few hours ago (macam tak operate saja) and i found out
some shocking news. many of them are becoming teachers !!!! damn, i didn't see that one coming. it's not that drastic, actually. i'd like to hang out with 'em around my holiday, but
i think they've got serious stuff to attend to very soon. anyways, i think it's about time they choose a path, and it's a very good one, considering our nation's current employment conditions. you can't blame them for choosing to be a teacher. it pays well, great benefits (better that petronas, i think) and the workload is less punishing. congratulations, fellows.

right now i'm sort of thinking what to do over the next few weeks. i got some bills to pay, some things to buy, some stuff to check out. the usual, you know.

i seriously think this post tak ada isi langsung. merapu saja laa....ha ha ha.

happy new year 2005.