an old friend dropped by my house this morning.
i haven't seen him in ages, and i've seen that
he's well. he's joyful, exuberant, chatty, doing
well in studies and work.
he's got it figured out.

the question is: where did i go wrong?

i started work at a consultancy firm today. agak berkarat.
it feels strange to work with a 'majority-malay' environment.
somehow, chatting is a crucial part of the work.

i'll have a tough time fitting in.

on a darker note, i read my fren's post about his 'attempts' on finding his 'dream girl'. i've been there, man. i have crashed and burned. so, that chapter's put on hold, at least for a while.

i'm starting a "quasi-seargent pepper's lonely hearts club".

anybody up for a membership?

a couple of days ago, oops,....yesterday, the nation celebrated Teachers' Day. awards were
given, speeches were heard, flowers were handed out, and we're talking bout the whole nine
yards here.

i have a story, albeit a very disturbing tribute to a teacher in the high school.
i didn't remember his name, but the dude has curly hair, quite sturdy and he had tinted
eyeglasses.

this story's set in 92 or 93, i couldn't remember, but it was certainly when i was in form one.
i was quite mischievous from 93-95 (would you believe it) and when i was in form one, i had
this habit of buying BACARIA (how bizarre) and my favorite thing to do after i've finished
reading them, is to get a marker and some correction fluid, and try to alter the headlines and
faces on the print, aiming to have the funniest outcome possible. biasa lah kan, budak budak.
you have to admit, it's kind of funny.

so, if i'm not mistaken, some dude from 1A3 borrowed the "artwork" to read during the night
prep (something i consider very risky, during that moment). i forgot who that dude was.i didn't
read any that night.

it so happens that this teacher was on duty that night and he caught the dude reading the print
(yup, an offence there), and he's not pleased with my 'modifications'.i guess he found out my
name, and he sought me out. at this time, i didn't know i'd be facing the "wrath of the furious
teacher" by the time he called me.

he then asked me

"paper ni awak punya ka?"
"ya, saya punya.."
"pasaipa awak contiang ni? pasaipa awak buat muka depa jadi macamni?awak nak saya panggil
emak bapak awak awak?nak saya report?"

all the time he was asking me this, he was holding my hand, shaking me very hard. he was
scolding,no wait.....he was 'herdik-ing' me as if i'd killed the prime minister. i answered

"tak mau, cikgu"

i was shivering by the time he let me go and i returned to class. i still can remember it clearly.

was i guilty? i think so. even so, he shouldn't have pelted me with verbal abuse like that. i've
never met any teacher like that drink of water in the entire school. looking back, i still think it's
way tooharsh. i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

so there you have it. a tribute from me, to that particular teacher on teachers' day.



just in case you're reading this, teacher, i just want to say F YOU.



yup, you heard me right.



F YOU,TEACHER.

the diesel engine is a wonderful creation.
i wonder how long the petrol engine will last.

The World Needs A Hero

An Iron fist quietly sits inside the Velvet Glove
Take control, untouchable just like God above
I can't escape, wrapped in red tape, what will become of me?
If I object, then I defect my country 'tis of thee
The White House is calling
Tell them I'll call them back
Just tell them anything
Yeah get them off my back
The world needs a hero
Not that I would ever lie but I have no choice
Words I say heard today are not mine, just my voice
NATO is on line 1
They want to talk to me
Tell them that I'm not in
Tell them that I'm not free
The world needs a hero
Phantom rule, the hidden jewel who's really in control?
On puppet strings, a nation swings undermined by moles
The UN is on hold
Tell them I'll call them back
Yeah tell them anything
Just get them off my back
The world needs a hero
Dave the White House is calling
They want to talk to me
Tell them that I can't be bought
Tell them that I'm not free
The world needs a hero

Moto Psycho

Responsibility, an anchor around my neck
Dependability, made me a nervous wreck
Accountability, I live from check to check
Volatility, neglect and no respect
Got my wheels in motion and I got a path to beat
I hit the road to "I don't know" and look for "Tough Shit Street"
One-way ticket nowhere there's no windows on this train
Can't see where I'm headed but I'm going there again
Moto Psycho
Going nowhere everybody is a
Moto Psycho move it or lose it baby
Going nowhere 100 miles an hour
Moto Psycho I'm a Moto Psycho
Moto Psycho
You know you can't resist to tell me what I mean
You gave my mind a twist said that I was unclean
The actor runs the play and ad-libs in between
You're all that I resent my thoughts were so obscene
Got my wheels in motion and I got a path to beat
I hit the road to "I don't know" and look for "Tough Shit Street"
One-way ticket nowhere there's no windows on this train
Can't see where I'm headed but I'm going there again
Moto Psycho
Going nowhere everybody is a
Moto Psycho move it or lose it baby
Going nowhere 100 miles an hour
Moto Psycho I'm a Moto Psycho
One-way ticket nowhere there's no windows on this train
Can't see where I'm headed but I'm going there again
Moto Psycho
Going nowhere everybody is a Moto Psycho
Going nowhere move it or lose it baby Moto Psycho
Going nowhere 100 miles an hour Moto Psycho
Where I'm headed I don't know but I'm shoving off and I hit the road
Going nowhere everybody is a Moto Psycho - time and time and time again I'm a
Moto Psycho
Moto Psycho move it or lose it baby
Going nowhere 100 miles an hour
Moto Psycho I'm a Moto Psycho

Burning Bridges

You give up on yourself
Somehow you got betrayed agin
Thin ice and luck runs out
Who will you blame it on this time?
Due to lack of interest in you
The light at the end of the tunnel
Was turned off
And something I noticed
Beating you is thrilling me
I've got a secret for you
If you took your own direction
If only you practice what you preach
If you follow your advice
You wouldn't be burning bridges all the time
Don't close your eyes to injustice
Listen, being brave ain't chicken shit
A man without any valor
Has nothing worth living for
Due to lack of interest in you
The light at the end of the tunnel
Was turned off
And something I noticed
Beating you is thrilling me
I've got a secret for you
If you took your own direction
If only you practice what you preach
If you follow your advice
You wouldn't be burning bridges all the time
If you took your own direction
If only you practice what you preach
If you follow your advice
You wouldn't be burning bridges all the time
If you took your own direction
If only you practice what you preach
If you follow your advice
You wouldn't be burning bridges all the time

Dread And The Fugitive Mind

Let me introduce myself I'm a social disease
I've come for your wealth leave you on your knees
No time for feeling sorry, I got here on my own
I won't ask for mercy, I choose to walk alone
What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine too
If you shake my hand better count your fingers
What if I do get caught? What if there is no judgment?
If I'm right I lose nothing, if you're right I lose it all
I ought to get caught because I'm doing something wicked
I'm guilty haunted by my fear and the only consequences
Are Dread and the Fugitive Mind
You built walls to protect you so no one will infect you
Pursued by those out there that vanish in thin air
Come a long way to find what you really left behind
You don't know when the end is but it's coming fast
What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine too
If you shake my hand better count your fingers
What if I do get caught? What if there is no judgment?
If I'm right I lose nothing, if you're right I lose it all
I ought to get caught because I'm doing something wicked
I'm guilty haunted by my fear and the only consequences
Are Dread and the Fugitive Mind

Symphony Of Destruction

You take a mortal man,
And put him in control
Watch him become a god
Watch peoples heads a'roll
A'roll...
Just like the Pied Piper
Led rats through the streets
We dance like marionettes
Swaying to the Symphony ...
Of Destruction
Acting like a robot
Its metal brain corrodes
You try to take its pulse
Before the head explodes
Explodes...
The earth starts to rumble
World powers fall
A'warring for the heavens
A peaceful man stands tall
Tall...

Sweating Bullets

Hello me ... Meet the real me
And my misfits way of life
A dark black past is my
Most valued possessions
Hindsight is always 20-20
But looking back it's still a bit fuzzy
Speak of mutually assured destruction?
Nice story ... Tell it to Reader's Digest !!!
Feeling paranoid
True enemy or false friend?
Anxiety's attacking me, and
My air is getting thin
I'm in trouble for the things
I haven't got to yet
I'm chomping at the bit and my
Palms are getting wet, sweating bullets
Hello me ... It's me again
You can subdue, but never tame me
It gives me a migraine headache
Thinking down to your level
Yea, just keep on thinking it's my fault
And stay an inch or two outta kicking distance
Mankind has got to know
His limitations
Feeling claustrophobic
Like the walls are closing in
Blood stains on my hands and
I don't know where I've been
I'm in trouble for the things
I haven't got to yet
I'm chomping at the bit and my
Palms are getting wet, sweating bullets
Well, me ... It's nice talking to myself
A credit to dementia
Some day you too will know my pain
And smile its blacktooth grin
If the war inside my head
Won't take a day off I'll be dead
My icy fingers claw your back
Here I come again
Feeling paranoid
True enemy or false friend?
Anxiety's attacking me, and
And my air is getting thin
Feeling claustrophobic
Like the walls are closing in
Blood stains on my hands and
I don't know where I've been
Once you committed me
Now you've acquited me
Claiming validity
For your stupidity
I'm chomping at the bit
I'm sharpening the axe
Here I come again, whoa!
Sweating bullets

felicitas.
omedetou gozaimasu.
tahni'ah.

i'm feeling kind of depressed today.

last night i watched two movies on vcd, which an occasion rare nowadays. i figured, since the
movies were of good reviews, and the 'dvd versions' are available, why not?

'school of rock' is undeniably funny, but he could do better. strange enough, jack black actually
had the presence to actually carry out the lead role in this flick. being a fan of his, i considered
his performance in 'high fidelity' as a john cusack's sidekick as his coolest yet, and i think he'd
stay in that safe spot, considering his role in 'shallow hal' was somewhat subdued by the fact
that he worked with Ms. Paltrow.

'big fish' is entertaining, yet has a lot of holes. maybe i didn't watch it right. yes, it's a signature
tim burton movie, very strange and bizarre. i think the ending is very, very........hmm. it's a sad
story, come to think of it. the most heart-wrenching moment in the flick is when albert finney
asks billy crudup (in the ward) to tell him the story about how he was gonna die. you gotta
admit, it's a tear-jerking moment when billy began to tell tall stories to his dying father,
and he's fighting to hold back his tears.

my eyes were all welled up at that moment.

this morning, i read the star in the middle section (i don't know what they call it) about the
50th anniversary of the defeat of the french army in vietnam. the war veterans
(well, the remaining) were all very enthusiastic about the future of vietnam, and one of
them said, " we are glad that the next generations would not haveto worry about war.
they only have to study hard and become succesful".

that's another tear-jerking statement.

for the record, i didn't cry. i ALMOST did.

yep.ha ha ha.